Category Archives: Deathwork

On A Lighter Note

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People who worship war gods 

should not whine when they become the target.

Weather in the Tries:

Monday 78, Tues/ Wed 50% rain. It will rain 50% of the day, or there is a 50-50 chance of getting it? The rest of the week will be in the 60s, with the lows in the 50s and 50s. Yippers, methinks Fall has done started to fell.     

On A Lighter Note:

I met with my personal trainer on Wednesday, and Boy Howdy! did he put me through the paces. In fact, we couldn’t finish. Okay, I couldn’t finish! I will have a 4-day workout. Monday, I’ll do what Trainer Daniel taught me. Tuesdays and Thursdays, I’ll take a pool class for those of us who have arthritis, and Saturday, if I’m still alive, will be free swimming. I may also swim after the Thursday class, but after the Tuesday class I go to breakfast! Fruit plate & 2 slices burned toast.

Yes, that’s what she writes on the order. Cookie can’t bring him/herself to actually burn it, but s/he gets it very well toasted—crunchy all the way through. Yummm. I usually eat one slice toast and a tad less than half of the fruit. Then I take all leftovers home and have the rest either for dinner or breakfast the next day. Yummmm 2 times over.

Favorite Son came for a visit and a walk on Thursday. We walked something like 2 miles. Had a great visit and stopped at Popular Donuts at the half-way point. I had coffee and ONE donut hole. He had a soda. Then we walked home. I can’t believe I only had one, but that’s all I ordered. Yes, I am patting myself on my back. At least what I can reach of it.

Saturday, I went to the gym to go swimming. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s been about 30 years since I’ve been swimming. Boy Howdy!!! Am I out of shape! I could remember how to make the strokes, but my body couldn’t remember how it should move. I could move my head and arms, but I couldn’t keep my pelvis and shoulders in correct alignment. I did get two laps in. Somehow. (The pool is 25 meters long, Olympic sized) Helpful Housemate Dan says I should try the Butterfly Stroke. 😉

And Sunday Favorite Offspring and Favorite Grandson, Good Friend, and Auntie Lenora, met for lunch at The Tav in Ellensburg for a grand lunch. I was totally bad—ate two small fried mozzarella string cheese, a fistful (thank goodness I have a small fist) of deep fried green beans, a half a hamburger, half my fries. Brought the other half fries and burger home for lunch the next day.

I’ve also found a way to have ice cream and feel virtuous, not guilty! My morning meds are taken with coffee. My endocrinologist blessed it. But my noon and evening meds (vitamins) have been more forgotten than taken because the larger ones are too uncomfortable to swallow. Hmmm, maybe if my throat was cold??? So, I got a spoonful of ice cream put part in my mouth, added the pill, and swallowed. Finished the ice cream with the other pill. Perfecto Mundo!!! Goallllllllll!!!!! So, I get two spoonsful of ice cream a day. And I’m using the teaspoon not the soupspoon! And I’m finally dropping some weight. Isn’t there a song about a spoonful of ice cream helps the medicine go down…??

Deathcare: 

We talked about paperwork. Isn’t that exciting? Actually it kinda was. Wills, Advance Directives that outline wishes for EOL care—comfort, pain, etc. Living Will and Healthcare proxy or agent. And a Funeral Agent! Did you know about a funeral agent? I hadn’t. But a funeral agent is a person legally entrusted by the dying person who is responsible for post death logistics.

The funeral agent will be quipped with your dreams. This varies state by state, so put it in your Will! List your wishes for funeral, clothes you will wear, name you will go by, who will be your preferred speaker. That person may or may not be your partner, your parents, your children. 

Then we talked about a Death Plan. Again, most of us had never heard of one, let alone completed one. It’s recommended we fill out four—plan A, B, C, D. A is best case scenario, B is under limiting circumstances, C for traumatic, accidental, and D is for violent post death only. This Death Plan is to communicate your wishes, what you want and your person is trusted to carry your wishes out.

A death plan should be updated every year or so (like on your birthday?) because your situation will change. Kids will grow and go, divorce happens, other people die, your taste in music, speaker, etc. change.   

From Sunday’s Drive:

Favorite Son drove today, so for once I was a passenger and could take photos from the car.

These are the Horse Heaven Hills. There were a couple good-sized fires as you can see in the bottom picture. Hard to believe since the hills are so brown, but they were named for the lush growth of Bunch Grass and Sagebrush on them. The Cayuse would bring their horses over to the hills to eat, get fat, and a glossy coat. Hence the name, Horse Heaven Hills.

From the Paws of the Big Chihuahua:    

My human went away yesterday, and she says I have to go with her tomorrow to get my shampoo and set. I like the people okay, but I don’t like the water. Can’t they use cornstarch or something that isn’t wet to get me clean? Why do humans like water so much? They stand in it, like an indoor rain, and sing because they’re so happy. And they swim in it, too. Humans are really strange. But, as long as my human loves me, I’ll try to keep her warm at night.:-)

“When you surround an army, leave an outlet free.

Do not press a desperate foe too hard.” 
― sun tzu, The Art of War

Or, if you prefer,

always leave your enemy an honorable way out,

for an enemy cornered has nothing to lose.

A Bit on Politics Written in the Font of Snark

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Weather in the Tries:  We may get rain today, Monday. 50% chance. Our high will be 68, but by Sunday it will be up to 80 with sunshine every day from Tuesday on. Lows will be in the high 40s, low 50s. Perfect sleeping weather.

A Bit on Politics Written in the Font of Snark:

Today is Thursday, 28 Sep 23, and Washington DC is gearing up for a Government Shutdown. I have a possible solution: Don’t pay Congress during the shutdown! Odd, isn’t it, that the Pro-Lifers who want all abortion stopped no matter the reason, won’t put limits on gun ownership, or fund families and single mothers who need assistance so they can feed and clothe their children, let alone afford the burial when one (or more) of their children die from prevented trauma. You know, like malnutrition, starvation, lead poisoning from an AR 15, lack of medical care.

And our Military? Oh, why in the world would they want, let alone need, to be paid? After all, they can eat in the chow halls and sleep in the barracks. But, what about their dependents? Yes, I know, if the Military had wanted them to have dependents, dependents would have been issued at the end of Basic/Boot Training. 

I really hope by the time Monday rolls around, and CBE is published, the shut-down has been avoided. But then I remember I stopped believing in miracles years ago.

And the old farts and fartesses on Social Security? Actually, as I understand it, we continue to be paid as it is mandated by law and financed through a payroll tax. But mothers with young children will be hurt by the Pro-Life Party Shutdown.  

Alright! This is too freaking much! As of today, Friday, FAT BEAR WEEK is in jeopardy! Yes, If Washington gridlock pushes the country into a government shutdown on Saturday, the Fat Bears will be furloughed, as well as the Park Rangers. Fat Bears are considerably more important than a few tantrum-throwing-juvenile-Congressmen! Feed tantrum-throwing-juvenile-Congressmen to the Bears!!! (Make sure those juvies have no communicable diseases first.) Save Fat Bears!!!! What? What did you ask? You don’t know about Fat Bears? Oh, you are merely ignorant, and that’s treatable, unlike stupid which cannot be treated. The stupid diagnosis belongs to tantrum-throwing-juvenile-Congressmen. To include Sen Tuberville!

Saturday night:

Well, goodness gracious sakes alive! There were enough young adults in Congress to pass a short-term funding bill with bi partisan support. Unfortunately, no additional funding for Ukraine. Young adults  don’t understand all that much about freedom and democracy, yet, and think Papa Putin really likes them. But 45 days is better than no days to get them some learning. And Fat Bear Week goes on….!!!

Doula:

I did watch An Honest Death: A Palliative Care Doctor’s Final Days. The Dr. had a terminal prognosis, and asked NHK (Japanese News Service) to film his final days. The movie is less than an hour, and very interesting. There was a part in the middle where there was no sound, but there were subtitles to read. The Dr. and his wife were both end of life doctors, and he was a Buddhist Priest. I didn’t cry near as much in this one as I did in It’s My Party. There is something in the Buddhist philosophy that brings about peaceful deaths, an acceptance, though he did want and received Continuous Deep Sedation –sleep state, usually done when the patient has less than 2 weeks to live and is in severe pain. The person passes away in their sleep.

We discussed what movies we watched over and over and over that were about death. I think my favorite is Departures. A Japanese film. And, yes, I still watch The NeverEnding Story. I cry in both of these movies. And in this series, Navillera. It’s a 12-episode Korean series about a 70-year-old man who retires and wants to learn to dance ballet. (I also cry during some commercials, but that’s another story.) And there are two songs that make me cry—Ed Ames (or anyone else) singing Who Will Answer and Bette Midler singing Wind Beneath My Wings. We all need something that will bring forth tears on demand, preferably under our control. Sometimes a good cry is just what the doctor ordered, but it’s difficult to cry on cue. 

Speaking of the Buddhist thoughts on Death, a friend sent me some information for Death, Love & Wisdom Summit, A Free Online Event October 12-16. You can read about it, and sign up if you’re interested, at https://tinyurl.com/bdf68n4k. The classes will last a total of around 3 hrs a day as I understand it. Maybe more if there are longer meditations.

Photos from the past, some claw and fang of Nature:

Two of my favorite photos from road trips. The Coyote was taken in Yellowstone NP, we’re pretty sure she was a she with cubs up on the hill. She came up the hill from the river to stop by the road to let us go first. We stopped, rolled down the window, and I took this picture. As soon as we drove on, she quickly crossed the road and went up the hill. If you look, you can see blood from her kill that morning on her fur. I gave a framed copy to Patricia Briggs, author of the Mercy Thompson Hauptmann books of weres, vampires, and other assorted shapeshifters.

The alligator was in Florida. I don’t want to get snuggly close to one, but they look so happy, like they just got the joke! And the reason they are so far away is because Sammy Brave Dog, aka The Big Chihuahua, keeps them there. Or at least out of our pond! Isn’t he a good dog?

From the Paws of the Big Chihuahua:

Does my human have any idea how BIG the mouth and teeth are on both of those critters? And she expects me to keep the ‘gator out of our pond??? Well, so far, but if that guy ever comes for a visit, I’m leaving. Keeping the Hippopotamuses out of the parking slots is bad enough. But she thinks I do it, and she’s proud of me, so please don’t tell her otherwise. Okay? I love this fall weather, except for the zombie leaves, but so far they aren’t around much. Maybe the wind is keeping them away? Yes?

Marie Osmond Talks About Dada Sound Poetry, a 2:37 video that is gobs of fun. And perhaps something to think about for opening your front door the last night of October 😉

“Teacher means “to be born before”.” ~quote from An Honest Death.

And, if I can remember how to upload a tape, I will have three new poems in Spoken Word. I have the World’s BESTEST computer Guru for this blog! She is patient, knowledgeable, and a good friend!!

Delightful Trip to the Dark Side

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Weather in the Tries: 

Our warmest day will be Tuesday at 75, with our coolest day on Thu of 68. And our lows will be in the 50s with Sat going down to 46. Yes, I’ve put my fleece sheets on the bed, and a real blanket along with one summer quilt. Soon will come the for real quilt I made for Thomas, but it was too heavy for him to use.

Delightful Trip to the Dark Side:

Had a delightful trip over to the Dark Side, where I spent a few days with Sheryl. I wondered how hard it would be to return to where EBOC Thomas lived the last years of his life and died there. He wasn’t there, and Sheryl said he hasn’t been back that she’s aware of, which makes me feel/think that if there is life after life, he’s off on his adventure, which is exactly where he should be. He doesn’t need to come back here to haunt people;-) though it would be nice if he’d show up for drink and a gab fest and tell us all about it.

As my Uncle Carl lay dying, he had a conversation with his long-deceased father. I sat by U. Carl’s bed, heard his said of the conversation, then there would be a pause, then he’d talk some more. When he was through I asked how the conversation went and he informed me it was good. I asked what Grandpa had to say, “Oh, he said, ‘Mbgliscuescf’ and then he said, ‘gblxdtvw’.” Yeah, well, so much for hearing from the other side of that veil.

Thanks for letting me know you don’t get the annoying pop up asking you to subscribe to my blog. Of course, I’d really like it if you did, but it’s okay if you don’t.

Doula: 

female slave. And that’s really what a Death Doula is, a slave to the dying person and his/her friends and family. We are there to help any way they would like that we can do. There are ways we can’t help as mandated by law. There are some cultures who do not want the bones that survived cremation, pounded into small pieces. But the law in this state says that all bones must be mashed and pulverized. 

Week 2 was the end of the ‘introduction’ and this week coming will be diving into the good stuff. The Death part. Part of the homework was to watch a couple of movies. I’ve finished one, “It’s My Party”—a movie to watch if you want to cry. Goes back to the days of AIDS. My first tears came at 4:23—credits were still rolling. Sheesh. Then again at 20:34, 26:07, 1:05:24, and then at 1:26:27 I started in and couldn’t stop until the movie was over. It’s a beautiful movie, with a lot of lough out loud moments and can be found on YouTube. It’s not all tears. But a beautiful love story. I did volunteer work with people living (though at that time, it was really dying, but we were so damn optimistic) with AIDS. I am so grateful that today it is a chronic illness and controllable.

I haven’t watched the other movie, yet, An Honest Death: A Palliative Care Doctor’s Final Days. The Dr. helped a lot of people, and then came down with cancer, and asked for his final days to be photographed. He was also a Buddhist Priest. It’s short and very interesting. I didn’t cry.

Only one photo today. Took it on the Dark Side and it was so overcast none of the flowers on the hydrangea bush had turned their face to the sun. And all the flower bunches only had blooms around the outer ring. Obviously, Fall is arriving.

From the Paws of the Big Chihuahua:  

Mom says she’ll type as I talk because she doesn’t like all the paw and nails clicking on her keyboard. She also doesn’t like me sitting so close to her coffee. The ghost of her old cat, Tashiko, had come to me shortly after I moved in with Mom, and taught me how to move Mom’s coffee cup. “It’s a game she really likes to play,” she said. Of course, I quickly realized Mom doesn’t like that game, but Tash really enjoyed the prank. I know Mom misses Tash, and I wish she’d come back and play with me, but she doesn’t even come to visit anymore. Says it makes Mom cry. And she’s right. But Mom snuggles with me, now, and I’m a dog and everyone knows dogs are better than cats. Right? Right? 

“Grief and Joy are always holding hands.” –Sandy Yannone

The Jury That Wasn’t

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Weather in the Tries: 

Yep, we’re still getting it. Our high today (Sunday) was 90, tomorrow will be 83, then down to the 70s and one 68 for the next week. Next Monday, temps will once again begin a climb into the 80s, but for a week, I might even want a sweater early in the morning.  (The lows will be in the low 50s for the week)

The Jury That Wasn’t:

After calling the broken phone all weekend and hoping for a miraculous fix, I got up early on Monday, dressed, fed the Big Chihuahua, and took him for a walk, then drove over to the Courthouse. Went thru Security, found where I was supposed to go, and sat on a bench and waited. I was, are you surprised?, early. But I wasn’t the only one who’d never been there, nor was I the only one waiting, there were 4 or 5 of us. Sondra opened up her cashier window and was very helpful. She looked it up online, and there were no jury trials scheduled for this week. I came home and found the same message. Now, why couldn’t I have found it earlier? Oh, well, I now know where the court is, and where to park, and where to go. The people who work there that I dealt with were very polite in telling me where to go.

THERE ARE NO JURY TRIALS SCHEDULED FOR THE WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 11, 2023

NO JURORS ARE REQUIRED TO REPORT ON

 MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2023  

I admit, I was kind of looking forward to it, I’ve been on a grand jury, but never seated for a petit jury. Oh, well…

Today is Tuesday. Last night was my first class in Deathcare. I must admit, I’m really eager for the rest of the classes. The class is very diverse—in all ways I can think of—race, LGBTQ+, age, Trans, and even neurodivergent (of which I am one. Truly, dyslexics are considered neurodivergent. Who knew?). Very interesting people, and many of us learn in different ways, and all that is being covered.  It’s gonna be a fascinating class, filled with fascinating people—a whole new family to adopt. And you know how Auntie Lenora likes to adopt people into her family!!!

And today is Thursday. Second class in Deathcare was last night. We did a guided meditation that was truly good. We all reacted differently to it. But we all loved it. It’s been a long time since I’ve done meditation of that sort. I remember when I retired, I had two goals—to meditate and to write. I was meditating three times a day, and often for an hour each time. I was so mellow it affected my writing in a very negative way—conflict? What the world and my writing needed was love. Sigh. I brought it up in my meditation group and they suggested I make my writing my meditation, and that’s basically what I’ve done since. So, in a way, my writing is also a guided meditation, but guided by me or my muse, not someone else. Last night’s was really interesting—we were taken back to the womb (too cramped for this old claustrophobe) and all the way to our death (very interesting, I’ve done this exercise before, but this time I had a totally different experience. An epiphany, if you will), can hardly wait until the next time which I believe will be our last week. This class is going to be great. Thank you, Friend Danna for recommending I attend A Sacred Passing for my training. 

Okay, now, I have a question for all of you. This class is 8 weeks long, do you want to hear about it in future posts? In more detail? Less detail? Not at all? Please let me know. There are no wrong answers, but I realize there are people out there who don’t want to learn about death and death care. And one of them may be you.

Now it’s Saturday and I remembered one of the items from the forever lost post I couldn’t put up last week. I subscribe to another blog that is also on Word Press and the last two weeks or so, every time I call it up on my browser (I never read in email as I miss too much), I get an annoying pop-up that wants me to subscribe. I even re-subscribed, but it still pops up. When you open Coffee Break Escapes in your browser, do you get the same annoying pop up? If so, please let me know either by email or in the comments.  Thank you.

These were taken in 2008. I have no idea what happened in the top picture. I must have had it on a slow speed and moved the camera? But I think it’s still a good picture.

These three were taken during a full moon, I think it might have been a Harvest moon, or possibly a super moon.

All of these were taken down by the Columbia River, the top two at the cable bridge, the bottom two at the blue bridge.

From the Paws of the Brave Dog:

I found this on Facebook and told Mom she ought to use it. I don’t like Facebook much, not enough Dogs. We need our own media. Dogface! Dogs of the universe, unite!!

Don’t use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity. ~Facebook meme