Category Archives: Deathwork

Bookcases &c

Weather in the Tries:
Highs this week will all be in the 60s, mostly higher 60s. The los will be in the 40s. We’ll have sunbreaks Monday and Wednesday, and winds on Tuesday. Can’t we have wind and sun at the same time? Who knows, and he’s not telling.

Bookcases &c:
My old and well used bookcase finally said it was tired of holding 3,002 pounds of so of books on it, and the little pins you put in your choice of holes broke the wood enough to fall out. If I raised or lowered the shelves (2 of them misbehaved) my books wouldn’t fit. So, I put the white book case I’ve never been truly happy with on the patio, and will get someone to help me move it up to the dumpster tomorrow (Monday) with a ‘Free to a Good Home’ sign on it. Moved my old and well used bookcase into the living room area now devoted to sewing/quilting, and got a lot of fabric &c stored on it so it has neatened up that area somewhat. And then I went to my favorite ‘has everything I’ve always wanted and didn’t know it’ store and ordered a new bookcase.

My old bookcase that is now mostly a fabric case, was 6 shelves (including the top) 6’ x3’. I ordered this bookcase, which is 72.8” wide, 79.5” heigh, and 11.8” deep. It is surprisingly easy to put together, and take apart, and put back together. The iron standards are each 3 pieces, a bottom, a middle, a top. They have holes in them. Did I pay any attention to hole placement? Of course not, I just put the pieces in however the farkers would fit with H on the top, I in the center and J at the bottom. Guess what, the holes are different on one side from the other. This morning (that would be Sunday) is deconstructed three of the four, and reconstructed them, and am now putting the shelves in. They are using engineered wood rather than compressed sawdust & glue. Each shelf is 23” long, give or take a tenth or two. I will have to get Housemate Dan to help me with the higher shelf. One is supposed to put them on the floor, but I can’t get down and back up. I laid one of the shelves (paying attention to the holes) on my chair and got the screws in the top shelf, and managed to get the second standard attached to the other end of the shelf, then stood it up and am now putting the rest of the shelves in. Photo next week when it’s together and populated with its books. I think all my books or poetry will go on the center ‘library cart’ style shelves, nonfiction on the left side and fiction on the right side.

I have one section finished. I’ll have to have Housemate Dan help me with the second section. I’ll hold the top shelf, if he’ll screw it in, then I can put the rest of the shelves in on my own, then build the tilted ones, and connect the hip bone to the leg bone and the leg bone to the ankle bone, or whatever. Once the three sections are connected, I’ll know how far I need to move my desk so they will fit the space. I think it’s 5” but will know for sure soon.

I can’t get a copy of the picture but this may help if you’re really curious: IRONCK Bookcases and Bookshelves Triple Wide 6 Tiers Industrial Record Player Shelf, Large Etagere Bookshelf Open Record Player Shelves with Metal Frame for Living Room Home Office https://a.co/d/hUmZhFw  The record shelves are what will hold my poetry books. I don’t have any vinyl anymore, not a place to put a player.

Well, I wanted to use the picture from the Amazon page, but couldn’t get it transferred, so if you want to see it, you’ll just have to click the link above. Or wait until next week when it’s done and populated with books;-)

My new website is up. We’re still dusting, and polishing, but it’s there. Check it out: https://foragooddeath.com. As stated, it’s still being tweaked, let me know if you have any ideas for improvement. Thanks

Sammy is surveying the work from his bed in the other room 😉

Video of the Week:
Ever wonder how a stone is cut? YouTube is full of all sorts of stuff. This guy has a 1000carat piece of clear quarts and is faceting and polishing it. The computer truly is a thing of wonder—as long as you don’t watch news all day;-)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr-UNlOWS3Y When he finishes it, it’s gorgeous.

from the desk of the big chihuahua;
we have sunshine and warmth even if the breeze is a little cold. my human complains, i think it’s because she’s bigger than i am and more wind hits her. im happy with it. more new smells as new people move in and out and bring and take more dogs n cats. i don’t care. the sun is shining and summer is coming.

A Sneak Preview of my New Business Cards

Weather in the Tries:
I do believe Spring is riding her pogo stick to get here. We have a few nights on the agenda to get below freezing, but not seriously. And our days will all be high 40s and 50s. With cold winds.

A Sneak Preview of my New Business Cards:
But first a follow-up on the quilt sandwich. It is quilted and the edging is almost finished. And I have approval on the fabric for the 100-inch long by 10-inch width quilt which is next up. No, they don’t have a pet snake that likes to stretch out to sleep, they have a cat who likes to sit on the top of the wood headboard of their bed and look outside, and they don’t want the headboard scratched. Then up will be a set of 4 placemats and my Winter Gifts will be finished! And I can get back to the mountains for my friend. That’s going to be fun to work on. I’ve got a start. It will be easy, once all the pieces are sewn and the picture decided on. 

Friend Micki saw my quilt, Stars Falling on New Mexico Mountains, and wanted one like it only different, she wants Mt. Shasta and her three sister mountains. I can hardly wait to get to it. I will try to remember to take pix during the process in case you ever want to try it 😉

Stars Falling on New Mexico Mountains, about 53″ x 19″

I don’t think I told you about going to a networking evening with people who work with Seniors (as in old farts and fartesses, not high schoolers). In talking with some of them, I realized I really do need to get busy, so I have ordered a set of business cards from Vista Print they should be here Wednesday. I found some on a foil background and can hardly wait to get the cards and my new alias email set up. I had it, then wanted to edit, and hit delete instead of edit and now I have to wait until Wednesday to set it up. Stupid computer, I’m allowed three alias emails, it counts the ones set up, not the ones deleted. Really looking forward to our March meeting.

Please don’t try the email in the card until at least Thursday.

I volunteered with End of Life Washington, and hope to begin training soon. Also, I volunteered with Heartlinks Hospiceto be an Eleventh-Hour volunteer, who will be called when a client is “actively” dying, to go and sit with him until life ceases. I will begin training with them soon. I think the phrase, “actively dying,” is beyond a little odd, but extremely accurate. The first time I heard the phrase was when the hospice nurse came to check onmy Favorite Uncle (also my only uncle) and she used that term. His body was shutting down, including his thermostat. 

He reached his left hand across his body and picked something out of a nonexistent bowl and moved it to his left side and dropped it in another nonexistent bowl. Eventually he stopped doing that, and slept a bit. I sat with him for 30 some hours, and kept a diary of what he did. Turned it into my poem, Marking the Hours. Which is the title poem of my book, Marking the Hours. Sometimes he was lucid, mostly mumbling. I wish I knew then what I know now.

Found a fun piece of music on YouTube, Hunnu Guren – Batzorig Vaanchig & Auli. It’s throat singing from Mongolia and Bagpipe and Drum music from Latvia. Not the HU, but fun, and gorgeous scenery. Right now as I write this, I am listening to Hauser play his cello. From The HU to Hauser. Do I have eclectic taste in music or what?

from the desk of the big chihuahua:
my human is going to go away today. i just know it. she’s talking about pizza and beer and bookgroup. if i could reach the lock on either door, i’d go outside on my own, but i have to wait for her and then walk in a harness. she won’t let me run free, says something about me being owl bait, and she says she doesn’t want an owl. she wants me. i’m not afraid of no stinkin’ owl. but, why take chances/ that’s supposed to be a question mark but i don’t know how to get it, after all, i’m just a dog.

Quote of the Week:

“It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.”
― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations from Filling the Jars

me again, the short legged kid. this is what we get outside right now. don’t know this dickens guy, but he nailed it. oh, a funny happened to my human yesterday. a zombie leaf attacked her face. now she knows how it feels. but she wasn’t scared, just called it a star farker and kept on our walk. is star farker a nice word/ she says it a lot, so it must be.

Death Cafe and Other Notes

Weather in the Tries:
Well, the high’s will be between low 50s and 40s ranging from 41 to 53 in no particular order. The lows will be from 30 to 38 in no particular order. I do truly wish that butterfly in Beijing would face the other way when he waggles his wings. I’m ready for some warm. I think my wee beast is, too. 

Death Café and Other Notes:

As you probably remember, I usually write this blog during the weekend and schedule it Sunday night for publication early Monday. I’ve mentioned the Discussion Cafes before, as I attend the Reflection Café twice during the month and beginning this morning, I’ll attend the Death Café. As my new friend and fellow Death Doula writes: “About this Death Café: This is not a grief therapy group. It is a friendly and interesting group of people discussing death, dying, and end of life concerns. Bring an open mind, an open heart, and your curiosity.” Now you know as much as I do, but I’ll learn more this morning (Sunday) and will share tomorrow morning.

Am back from the Death Café. Very interesting. A lot of people, of which I am old enough to be the grandparent of most of them. We sat at tables shoved together, and talked as a group, then because we were so many, eventually started talking in smaller groups. Someone brought a deck of Morbid Curiosity Cards. Some cards have trivia on them, some ask questions. One of the questions asked something like, if you were at a funeral and someone flirted with you, would you flirt back? I said, “Yes. After all, I’m not dead.” Then I thought a minute and amended it to, “Yes, as long as it wasn’t the funeral of my spouse or partner.” I’m not sure what caught the people more by surprise, that I said I would, or my age. The deck reminded me a lot of Cards Against Humanity. One of the few card games I enjoy playing. Alas, I’ve been all over the wonderful world web, and can’t find the deck of Morbid Curiosity cards.

I found it. I was searching for Morbid Curiosity, finally added ‘game’ and voila! If you’re interested, go here. And, like Cards Against Humanity, Morbid Curiosity has younger siblings to expand the game ~ Memento Mori and Postmortem. I can see where these cards could come in handy for people who aren’t sure what to ask, when to ask, how to ask. Great conversation starters.

Spring is definitely on its way. The days are warmer, the nights, while still cool, aren’t as cold. And I’m beginning to wake earlier. Which I think is funny, because my room has blackout curtains, and I don’t get light through them, but I am waking earlier than I was in Nov, Dec, and Jan. I’m sure it has something to do with hibernating. Yes?

If you missed my poetry reading on the 6th, this link will take you to it. I’m about 30 minutes in for about 15 minutes.

Photo of the Week:
This is a true wee quilt. I think it measures about 8×9 inches. The background fabric is multicolored, and then I cut some scraps up and ‘sprinkled’ them to resemble a photo I took a couple years ago at my adopted Li’l Brothers’ home. The red was a red rhododendron seen between two trees. The sun shone on it, and it was bright red. The trees kept a lot of things in shadow, but the rhodie was gorgeous. The sprinkles were covered with black netting, and stitched about every eighth to quarter inch. 

from the desk of the brave dog:
it’s still cold out, no matter what my human says. but not as cold as it was. and the sun is once again shining in our sky. can you see me do my happy dance? now, if the rain will stay away, or only come at night. i think if the rain came while i’m snuggly with my human at night, and was gone when we get up, that would be fine. now that i have access to a computer, maybe i can figure out who to write with that suggestion. my human says we need rain, but not during the day, just at night.

Rainy Quotes:


 “Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness 
has never danced in the rain.”
 ~ unknown

“nobody in their right mind would be in the rain
let alone dance in it.” ~ sammy brave dog

I’m Home Again, Home Again

Weather in the Tries:
Lots of wind today, which means the Zombie Leaves will be out to attack the Brave Dog. Will he show them he’s no longer afraid, that he is, after all, the Big Chihuahua??? We shall see.  This week will mostly be in the 50s with lows in the high 30s/ low 40s. With perchance a shower or two now and then. Mostly then, according to my phone.

I’m Home Again, Home Again:
Had a great visit with my Sister & Brother of Choice (SOC & BOC) Lee and Dave at their beautiful house in South Seattle. We went out to eat a couple of times, once to a Portuguese restaurant, Ciudad, that was to die for. We had grilled octopus, grilled chicken, and I should have written everything down, because it was to die for. Especially the octopus! The mural is delightful. If you’re in Seattle, or planning a trip, you might want to check Ciudad out!  

On Sunday, we went to Jude’s, a neighborhood bar and restaurant, for eats n drinks. The guys who own it are master mixers of great cocktails. Lee & Dave had something truly liked, and I went for a Smokey Salve that could easily become habit forming. Rye, mesquite bourbon, crème de cacao, ginger, & bitters. Oh, yeah, so glad Jude’s is not in my neighborhood. Oh yes, I could develop a habit for that.

The specialize in Cajun cooking, and I had their Grits Plate. Made me homesick for the deep south. Their menu all looked good, it was difficult to choose. Everything I looked at looked better than the one before. The blackened catfish was to die for. So, yes, you must go to Jude’s, too.

Watched the first episode of Foundation. If you read the 4-book trilogy by The Good Doctor (Asimov), the series is based on the books. I read them so many years ago, I can’t remember that much about them to know how close/far the tv show is from the books, but I was hooked, for sure.  Now Housemate Dan and I can watch.

We got caught up on gossip, and I left on Monday. I arrived on Thursday pm, left Monday am, so the 3-day rule of company wasn’t too badly stretched. And, on Friday, they drove me to, and fetched me later, my last class of:

Doula Training:
The last class, was a two-parter. We learned how to wash a corpse and shroud a corpse. Sinch we were doing this in a home, we used real live corpses, and the class was divided into two groups. One washed, one shrouded, then we ate and reversed so we all got to see everything. Yes, we did have real live corpses. They were delightful young men, who volunteered, and played dead. Until we got them to laugh. Indeed, their resurrection was a miracle. 

In between the first class and the second, when we all traded, we had a feast of a supper. The two corpses joined us to eat. It was fun meeting them, and those of the class who could come. A lot of our cohort is located on the east coast, or otherwise just too far away to come. 

I am signed up for the A Sacred Passing class on Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD). Then I will take the class from End of Life Washington (Death With Dignity) if it’s different. I will need to shadow another doula a few times, which may be a tad fun this winter, as I will be the only one in the Tri-Cities. I’m hoping there is someone no farther than Spokane. That’s a trip I can make in the winter. But getting across the Snoqualmie Pass may be dicey. I had to drive from Seattle to Portland to Kennewick one time. It was not a particularly fun drive at double the distance, double the time.

I need to get all my forms filled out, both to know how, and to have them available for when (if?) needed for my death. If you live in Washington State, I strongly urge you to check out End of Live Washington, and go to their Wonderfile, read and download the forms and instructions you need. If you live in another state, I suggest you find the equivalent in your state. There are even forms you can fill out now, leaving instructions for what happens if you develop dementia, if you are in a same sex relationship your bio family doesn’t like, but you do. Some need to be notarized, many do not. Then, every year, on your birthday, go over them, and make any necessary changes. As End of Life Washington says, “Plan now, die later, do a lot of living in between!

From the Paws of the Brave Dog:
My human came home yesterday and the first thing she did, well, almost the first thing, was to come to the bed and snuggle me for a really long time. It’s so hard to snuggle her when she isn’t here. Housemate Dan is good, but he doesn’t snuggle like she does. She didn’t even read her books or anything. She just snuggled. Oh, happy day, happy day. My human came come. My human is home and I happy danced all the way to the bed. Did you see me happy dance?

Duck, Death and the Tulip:
This is a delightful book about a duck who meets Death, and the friendship that develops. It’s a children’s book, that I bought after seeing the video in one of our classes. The words and drawings are from the pen of Wolf Erlbruch, a German writer and illustrator. It is a marvelous story about a duck who sees Death following him and they become friends, until Duck dies. There is no religious theme to the story. Or the death of Duck. The only think I would have liked to see is one more comma in the title, so it reads Duck, Death, and the Tulip. But the Oxford comma is not in high favor at the moment.

Listen Up, Buttercup!

Weather in the Tries:
We’re in for a warming trend, and possible rain. Most of this week will be high 40s and up to high 50s. And the lows will be mostly in the low 40s. As I write this (Sunday Morning) It’s 25 degrees outside. And the dog wants me to feed him and take him for a walk. Yeah. Right.

Listen Up, Buttercup!
The tease says Rena just got her first job. She’s 18 months old and gets paid in free diapers and ice cream. Whoa there, Trigger. Is that ageism? I don’t need diapers (yet) but plenty of old farts and fartesses do, and a lot of us would work for free ones, and ice cream. Especially the ice cream. I’d take the diapers now and hold them for when/if I do need them.

Okay, then I read the article. Yeah, it is ageism, but I guess I won’t complain. The little tykes (about 70 of them) work one day a week spreading cheer at Japanese nursing homes,  accompanied with a parent, bringing smiles and joy to the residents.

One of the nursing homes Daddy was in before he came to Portland was an re-purposed one-floor elementary school, and the large wing was for the nursing home residents, but the other wing was a day care, and the residents were encouraged to go to the cafeteria to get their own coffee and meals and interact with the kids. The kids picked a Grandpa/Grandma for the week. The nursing home residents really perked up around the youngsters. And tended to go home sooner than residents of traditional nursing homes. And those who couldn’t go to the kids, had kids coming to them. Daddy almost didn’t want to leave. He had been alone too much, I think, and he just loved those kids. Somehow, I don’t think I’d bring the same joy to the elders as the tykes do.

I also don’t have the least inclination to start/manage/work in/stay in a new nursing home-child care facility, but it sure sounds like a good idea to me. Japan has such a problem with loneliness “that in 2021 the government appointed its first ‘minister of loneliness,’ charged with helping people of all ages connect, especially after the Covid-19 pandemic.” Read the article here, and look at the cute kids and happy people. (The quote is from the article by Janis Mackey Frayer and Arata Yamamoto  and Mithil Aggarwal.)

Two photos from a couple years ago, when I lived on the river. Doesn’t it look cold? you can see the fog rising in the smaller photo, if you look closely.

Death Care:

Moving into the final week. I’ve lost a week. I thought this was Week 7, but it’s Week 8. It’s been a fascinating time, and I’m really looking forward to meeting several of my cohort face to face this coming Friday. There is an in-person class on washing and shrouding the deceased. I doubt I’ll ever do it, but it will be nice to know how, just in case.

Now I get to write a piece about why I decided to become a Death Doula/Midwife. About 5 minutes worth of reading. So, guess what I’m gonna be doing today (Sunday) in between two Zoom Room sessions. 😉

From the Paws of the Brave Dog:

I really didn’t want to walk this morning. It’s too cold, so when Housemate Dan insisted, we went forth. And I delivered the desired response in a hurry, and then we came back. My other human is very pleased that not only did I produce, but I’ve also started tromping and peeing on the Zombie Leaves. That’ll teach ‘em to mess with the Big Chihuahua! Now, I’m going back to bed. It’s nap time!

Chansons Innocents II by e.e. cummings. Read it here, and have a Happy Halloween by whatever name you call it.

Some things of possible interest …

Weather in the Tries:

According to my phone, the next week the highs will be in the 50s dropping into the 40s. Today, Monday will be 71. The lows wll be in the 40s and 30s with one day, next Monday, at 29. Yep, Fall has done fell! Ka-Booom!! Of course, the weather is always subject to change at a moment’s notice. 

Some things of possible interest…

I think I’ve mentioned before that I subscribe to Jerry Coyne’s blogs. He publishes several a day, I tend to read the Hili Dialog when it comes first thing in the morning, and the Caturday Trifecta every CSaturday. Jerry is a cat lover, and a duck lover, and a scientist, and is extremely prolific. This past Caturday part of the Trifecta was a story from Spoon & Tamago, a blog about Japan, and the story Tan Yamanouchi’s New House Speaks to His Cats’ Desires

I went to the website and was delighted with the story of Tan Yamanouchi, an architect who designed and built his family home to accommodate their two cats. The photos of the home are great. I had so much fun I started reading other stories, and subscribed to the blog.

Another story that fascinated me is: You’ll Soon Be Able to Stay in One of Japan’s Most Beautifully Designed Prisons .  The architecture of the prison is every bit as interesting as the article. However, I found this paragraph particularly interesting:
Japan incarcerates its citizens at a far lower rate than most developed countries: 37 per 100,000 people compared with 132 in Britain and 629 in America. And the inmate population in Japan has seen a steady decline over the past decade, which helps explain why Nara Prison was shut down in 2017.

I have not done any research on the topic of why we have so many in prison, but my opinion is it is tied to privatizing the prisons and using prisoners/slaves to do the work of the companies who own and operate them. Ah, Capitalism. Ain’t it grand?

Another newsletter I subscribe to is MEDPAGE TODAY. I started reading it during Covid, and though it’s meant for those in the medical field, I can still understand most of the articles, and find several of them fascinating, and always well written. The other day, I found one that I’ve read about now and again over the years, but this one gives us all the good parts.

The ‘PinkTax’ Wake-Up Call for the Healthcare Industry—All genders should have equal access to care. The good news is that (white) women are now earning about $0.82 for every dollar a (white) man makes. That up 4 or 5 cents since I was working for a living. The bad news is Black and Latinx women earn a whole lot less. And yes, medicines and treatments cost women of any color more than men for the same thing. I remember when Washington State removed the sales tax from prescription drugs with the called-out exception of birth control pills. We still had to pay tax to keep from getting pregnant!

It’s a very interesting article. I hope you’ll grab a cuppa and sit for maybe 5 minutes and read it. Frequently the responses are interesting. They are limited to those working in the medical field.

Death Care:

We have finished 5 weeks of our 8. A lot of grief work, and much of that is cross-cultural/race work. Truly fascinating, but I don’t plan on doing a lot of grief care. We have a wonderful system for grief support here in the Tries through Chaplaincy Hospice and their Grief Support Groups. I may be wrong, but I think most of my grief care will come immediately after the death, with some anticipatory grief ahead of it.

One of the videos I watched was Megan Devine on Grief. It’s a 48:12 minute long, and fascinating. She is an excellent speaker. Do a search for her, and look for that video. Or watch a bunch of the shorter ones.

At this point I have no idea how busy I’ll be, if at all. When the class is over, and I know more, I will talk to the kind person who does my Taxes, and a lawyer. Because I plan on doing my work without charge, or minimal if I spend money for my client, do I need to have things like liability insurance? What do I need, what do I not need, do I need to become a business? So many questions, that I’m not quite intelligent enough yet to know what they are and who to ask. 😉

I’ve known for some time that I live in a white bread snowflake town, but didn’t know HOW show white my town is, until I did a little research just to find out. I will try to put the table I made in here. Not sure if I can get it to translate, but                 

Race                   Kenwck     Richland    Benton Cnty    Pasco   FrankCnty

European60.7%87.0%65.0%38.2%60.7%
Hispanic30.9%7.8%25.0%55.1%53.0%
African1.8%1.4%%2.0%2.4%1.9%
Asian2.4%4.7%3.0%2.1%2.0%
Native Amer0.7%0.8%0%—-0.8%
Other3.7%2.62%1.0%0.5% 
Hawaiian—-0.1%2.0%0.5%0.8%
Multi—-7.18%—-—-29.8%
Mixed—-3.2%4.0%1.7%3.9%
Euro alone,Not Hispanic or Latinx  —-  83.0  83.0%  —-47.0%

Pasco is one of the Tri-Cities, however it is in Franklin County

These figures come from Kennewick: https://bestneighborhood.org/race-in-kennewick-wa/ , Richland: https://www.biggestuscities.com/demographics/wa/richland-city Benton County: https://censusreporter.org/profiles/05000US53005-benton-county-wa/ Pasco: https://statisticalatlas.com/place/Washington/Pasco/Race-and-Ethnicity  and Franklin County: https://www.homefacts.com/demographics/Washington/Franklin-County.html

*Pasco is in Franklin County, Kennewick & Richland, and several other small towns are in Benton County/ Kennewick, Richland, and Pasco are 3 cities separated by 3 rivers. (that’s not quite true but darned close. We do have 3 cities and 3 rivers—Yakima, Snake, Columbia.)

Humor:

So, I decided to let my hair grow, but it was thick and needed a trimming and cut to go with the curls and waves. I called a stylist and asked if anyone in the salon enjoyed cutting naturally curly or wavy hair. She said she loved to cut it, so I made an appointment and went in. The first thing, of course, was the shampoo. How I love to have someone wash my hair and give me a head massage at the same time.

Then it was back to the chair where she dried my hair and turned me so I couldn’t see the mirror. Hmmmmmmm… Then she started messing around with something hot and pulling my hair through it. Odd, that. But she clipped and she cut, and gave me more than a trim, and then started messing around with that hot thing again. The end result is here:

I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. I settled for laughter. She was worried I might not like it, but if I’ve learned nothing else in the last 8 decades of my life, is it’s only hair, and it will grow out, and a shampoo in my own shower helps a lot. Of course, wearing headphones didn’t help, they took away my cute winglets. So, the next morning I got up, took a shower, and played with it myself. I don’t have all the curls in back that I had, but I think some more of the extra hold gel will help with that. And a spritz or two of pink and or purple and voila, the next day:

From the Paws of the Big Chihuahua:

It’s Fall. It’s turning cold.  I’m busy. I’m napping. Naps are good. Either nap with me or go away.

Happiness is:

Weather in the Tries:

Trust me when I say that Fall has Fell. Leaves are yellow and all over the ground, but so far, none have resurrected to zombie statehood. Days are much cooler, nights even more so. Love it! Days will be in the high 60s to mid 70s. Nights mostly in the high 40s to mid 50s. Not coat weather yet, but a sweater or light jacket isn’t amiss, especially with the sun goes down.

Happiness is:

I found a photo the other day I don’t remember taking, but it is now one of my wallpapers. It was taken about a year ago when I was with Thomas. Sheryl and I were obviously talking, and one of us said something and she looks like she just said a word she never, ever says, and Thomas looks at her as if to say, You said That??? What a funny disgusted shocked expression on his face. I look it it during the day and can’t help but chuckle. It certainly helps the grief go away. He must have been getting ready for a shave with the towel around him. Sent it to Sheryl, and she can’t remember what we were talking about, either. Anyhow, enjoy.

Not Happiness is:

Sammy Brave Dog was sick for about three days, and I couldn’t get him in to see his regular doctor, and the office suggested if he was really sick, to take him to an urgent care. Huh? Urgent care for animals? Well, I looked them up, and they exist, and are just down the road maybe a mile. He’d been dancing the green apple two step for 3 days, maybe a tad more, so they called his regular doctor and got his chart sent over, and we decided it was a good time to update a few things. They have him a fluid injection, drew blood and tested him for the regular stuff as well as some things like pancreatitis (he free of that), and sent us home with a fecal collection kit. Well, I guess he didn’t like all the poking and prodding, and indignities heaped upon him, because he didn’t do anything until this morning. It was normal. I took the sample in, and he has nothing wrong with him. So, I’m to continue giving him some stuff and not worry about the antibiotics.

The worst thing is, Housemate Dan can no longer give him Costco Chicken with Sammy’s dinner. Both he and Sammy love that, but the Doctor said NO more people food, except for sweet spud or pumpkin. But he can give him sweet spud with his dinner, and Sammy really loves sweet spud. 

Deathcare:

I am quite confused in my poor little mind as to what we learned through A Sacred Passing on Mon & Wed night, v. what we learned during the first four of five Buddhist classes on Death, Love, Wisdom Summit classes. Worth getting up at 0530 to be at the computer by 0600. I’ve got pages of notes I want to transcribe and put in my notebook. Tomorrow (Monday, so I guess it’s today) is the final class, which I think will be heavy on meditation, but that’s okay. So far the classes have been on Making Peace With Death, End of Life Care, Right here With You: Care at the Time of Death, and Grief and Bereavement Support. All good stuff.

Our pond with a few of the none zombie leaves.

From the Paws of the Big Chihuahua:

My tummy wasn’t feeling very good and my human took me to a new doctor. She poked me, but was pretty nice, and ran some tests which was funny because she didn’t run at all. She walked. Anyhow, I no longer get chicken. Housemate Dan and I are both sad about that, BUT I get all the sweet potato or pumpkin I want. Well, the doctor said something about 4 cubic inches a day, but that sounds like a lot to me. And my tummy feels much, much better now.

On A Lighter Note

People who worship war gods 

should not whine when they become the target.

Weather in the Tries:

Monday 78, Tues/ Wed 50% rain. It will rain 50% of the day, or there is a 50-50 chance of getting it? The rest of the week will be in the 60s, with the lows in the 50s and 50s. Yippers, methinks Fall has done started to fell.     

On A Lighter Note:

I met with my personal trainer on Wednesday, and Boy Howdy! did he put me through the paces. In fact, we couldn’t finish. Okay, I couldn’t finish! I will have a 4-day workout. Monday, I’ll do what Trainer Daniel taught me. Tuesdays and Thursdays, I’ll take a pool class for those of us who have arthritis, and Saturday, if I’m still alive, will be free swimming. I may also swim after the Thursday class, but after the Tuesday class I go to breakfast! Fruit plate & 2 slices burned toast.

Yes, that’s what she writes on the order. Cookie can’t bring him/herself to actually burn it, but s/he gets it very well toasted—crunchy all the way through. Yummm. I usually eat one slice toast and a tad less than half of the fruit. Then I take all leftovers home and have the rest either for dinner or breakfast the next day. Yummmm 2 times over.

Favorite Son came for a visit and a walk on Thursday. We walked something like 2 miles. Had a great visit and stopped at Popular Donuts at the half-way point. I had coffee and ONE donut hole. He had a soda. Then we walked home. I can’t believe I only had one, but that’s all I ordered. Yes, I am patting myself on my back. At least what I can reach of it.

Saturday, I went to the gym to go swimming. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s been about 30 years since I’ve been swimming. Boy Howdy!!! Am I out of shape! I could remember how to make the strokes, but my body couldn’t remember how it should move. I could move my head and arms, but I couldn’t keep my pelvis and shoulders in correct alignment. I did get two laps in. Somehow. (The pool is 25 meters long, Olympic sized) Helpful Housemate Dan says I should try the Butterfly Stroke. 😉

And Sunday Favorite Offspring and Favorite Grandson, Good Friend, and Auntie Lenora, met for lunch at The Tav in Ellensburg for a grand lunch. I was totally bad—ate two small fried mozzarella string cheese, a fistful (thank goodness I have a small fist) of deep fried green beans, a half a hamburger, half my fries. Brought the other half fries and burger home for lunch the next day.

I’ve also found a way to have ice cream and feel virtuous, not guilty! My morning meds are taken with coffee. My endocrinologist blessed it. But my noon and evening meds (vitamins) have been more forgotten than taken because the larger ones are too uncomfortable to swallow. Hmmm, maybe if my throat was cold??? So, I got a spoonful of ice cream put part in my mouth, added the pill, and swallowed. Finished the ice cream with the other pill. Perfecto Mundo!!! Goallllllllll!!!!! So, I get two spoonsful of ice cream a day. And I’m using the teaspoon not the soupspoon! And I’m finally dropping some weight. Isn’t there a song about a spoonful of ice cream helps the medicine go down…??

Deathcare: 

We talked about paperwork. Isn’t that exciting? Actually it kinda was. Wills, Advance Directives that outline wishes for EOL care—comfort, pain, etc. Living Will and Healthcare proxy or agent. And a Funeral Agent! Did you know about a funeral agent? I hadn’t. But a funeral agent is a person legally entrusted by the dying person who is responsible for post death logistics.

The funeral agent will be quipped with your dreams. This varies state by state, so put it in your Will! List your wishes for funeral, clothes you will wear, name you will go by, who will be your preferred speaker. That person may or may not be your partner, your parents, your children. 

Then we talked about a Death Plan. Again, most of us had never heard of one, let alone completed one. It’s recommended we fill out four—plan A, B, C, D. A is best case scenario, B is under limiting circumstances, C for traumatic, accidental, and D is for violent post death only. This Death Plan is to communicate your wishes, what you want and your person is trusted to carry your wishes out.

A death plan should be updated every year or so (like on your birthday?) because your situation will change. Kids will grow and go, divorce happens, other people die, your taste in music, speaker, etc. change.   

From Sunday’s Drive:

Favorite Son drove today, so for once I was a passenger and could take photos from the car.

These are the Horse Heaven Hills. There were a couple good-sized fires as you can see in the bottom picture. Hard to believe since the hills are so brown, but they were named for the lush growth of Bunch Grass and Sagebrush on them. The Cayuse would bring their horses over to the hills to eat, get fat, and a glossy coat. Hence the name, Horse Heaven Hills.

From the Paws of the Big Chihuahua:    

My human went away yesterday, and she says I have to go with her tomorrow to get my shampoo and set. I like the people okay, but I don’t like the water. Can’t they use cornstarch or something that isn’t wet to get me clean? Why do humans like water so much? They stand in it, like an indoor rain, and sing because they’re so happy. And they swim in it, too. Humans are really strange. But, as long as my human loves me, I’ll try to keep her warm at night.:-)

“When you surround an army, leave an outlet free.

Do not press a desperate foe too hard.” 
 sun tzu, The Art of War

Or, if you prefer,

always leave your enemy an honorable way out,

for an enemy cornered has nothing to lose.

A Bit on Politics Written in the Font of Snark

Weather in the Tries:  We may get rain today, Monday. 50% chance. Our high will be 68, but by Sunday it will be up to 80 with sunshine every day from Tuesday on. Lows will be in the high 40s, low 50s. Perfect sleeping weather.

A Bit on Politics Written in the Font of Snark:

Today is Thursday, 28 Sep 23, and Washington DC is gearing up for a Government Shutdown. I have a possible solution: Don’t pay Congress during the shutdown! Odd, isn’t it, that the Pro-Lifers who want all abortion stopped no matter the reason, won’t put limits on gun ownership, or fund families and single mothers who need assistance so they can feed and clothe their children, let alone afford the burial when one (or more) of their children die from prevented trauma. You know, like malnutrition, starvation, lead poisoning from an AR 15, lack of medical care.

And our Military? Oh, why in the world would they want, let alone need, to be paid? After all, they can eat in the chow halls and sleep in the barracks. But, what about their dependents? Yes, I know, if the Military had wanted them to have dependents, dependents would have been issued at the end of Basic/Boot Training. 

I really hope by the time Monday rolls around, and CBE is published, the shut-down has been avoided. But then I remember I stopped believing in miracles years ago.

And the old farts and fartesses on Social Security? Actually, as I understand it, we continue to be paid as it is mandated by law and financed through a payroll tax. But mothers with young children will be hurt by the Pro-Life Party Shutdown.  

Alright! This is too freaking much! As of today, Friday, FAT BEAR WEEK is in jeopardy! Yes, If Washington gridlock pushes the country into a government shutdown on Saturday, the Fat Bears will be furloughed, as well as the Park Rangers. Fat Bears are considerably more important than a few tantrum-throwing-juvenile-Congressmen! Feed tantrum-throwing-juvenile-Congressmen to the Bears!!! (Make sure those juvies have no communicable diseases first.) Save Fat Bears!!!! What? What did you ask? You don’t know about Fat Bears? Oh, you are merely ignorant, and that’s treatable, unlike stupid which cannot be treated. The stupid diagnosis belongs to tantrum-throwing-juvenile-Congressmen. To include Sen Tuberville!

Saturday night:

Well, goodness gracious sakes alive! There were enough young adults in Congress to pass a short-term funding bill with bi partisan support. Unfortunately, no additional funding for Ukraine. Young adults  don’t understand all that much about freedom and democracy, yet, and think Papa Putin really likes them. But 45 days is better than no days to get them some learning. And Fat Bear Week goes on….!!!

Doula:

I did watch An Honest Death: A Palliative Care Doctor’s Final Days. The Dr. had a terminal prognosis, and asked NHK (Japanese News Service) to film his final days. The movie is less than an hour, and very interesting. There was a part in the middle where there was no sound, but there were subtitles to read. The Dr. and his wife were both end of life doctors, and he was a Buddhist Priest. I didn’t cry near as much in this one as I did in It’s My Party. There is something in the Buddhist philosophy that brings about peaceful deaths, an acceptance, though he did want and received Continuous Deep Sedation –sleep state, usually done when the patient has less than 2 weeks to live and is in severe pain. The person passes away in their sleep.

We discussed what movies we watched over and over and over that were about death. I think my favorite is Departures. A Japanese film. And, yes, I still watch The NeverEnding Story. I cry in both of these movies. And in this series, Navillera. It’s a 12-episode Korean series about a 70-year-old man who retires and wants to learn to dance ballet. (I also cry during some commercials, but that’s another story.) And there are two songs that make me cry—Ed Ames (or anyone else) singing Who Will Answer and Bette Midler singing Wind Beneath My Wings. We all need something that will bring forth tears on demand, preferably under our control. Sometimes a good cry is just what the doctor ordered, but it’s difficult to cry on cue. 

Speaking of the Buddhist thoughts on Death, a friend sent me some information for Death, Love & Wisdom Summit, A Free Online Event October 12-16. You can read about it, and sign up if you’re interested, at https://tinyurl.com/bdf68n4k. The classes will last a total of around 3 hrs a day as I understand it. Maybe more if there are longer meditations.

Photos from the past, some claw and fang of Nature:

Two of my favorite photos from road trips. The Coyote was taken in Yellowstone NP, we’re pretty sure she was a she with cubs up on the hill. She came up the hill from the river to stop by the road to let us go first. We stopped, rolled down the window, and I took this picture. As soon as we drove on, she quickly crossed the road and went up the hill. If you look, you can see blood from her kill that morning on her fur. I gave a framed copy to Patricia Briggs, author of the Mercy Thompson Hauptmann books of weres, vampires, and other assorted shapeshifters.

The alligator was in Florida. I don’t want to get snuggly close to one, but they look so happy, like they just got the joke! And the reason they are so far away is because Sammy Brave Dog, aka The Big Chihuahua, keeps them there. Or at least out of our pond! Isn’t he a good dog?

From the Paws of the Big Chihuahua:

Does my human have any idea how BIG the mouth and teeth are on both of those critters? And she expects me to keep the ‘gator out of our pond??? Well, so far, but if that guy ever comes for a visit, I’m leaving. Keeping the Hippopotamuses out of the parking slots is bad enough. But she thinks I do it, and she’s proud of me, so please don’t tell her otherwise. Okay? I love this fall weather, except for the zombie leaves, but so far they aren’t around much. Maybe the wind is keeping them away? Yes?

Marie Osmond Talks About Dada Sound Poetry, a 2:37 video that is gobs of fun. And perhaps something to think about for opening your front door the last night of October 😉

“Teacher means “to be born before”.” ~quote from An Honest Death.

And, if I can remember how to upload a tape, I will have three new poems in Spoken Word. I have the World’s BESTEST computer Guru for this blog! She is patient, knowledgeable, and a good friend!!

Delightful Trip to the Dark Side

Weather in the Tries: 

Our warmest day will be Tuesday at 75, with our coolest day on Thu of 68. And our lows will be in the 50s with Sat going down to 46. Yes, I’ve put my fleece sheets on the bed, and a real blanket along with one summer quilt. Soon will come the for real quilt I made for Thomas, but it was too heavy for him to use.

Delightful Trip to the Dark Side:

Had a delightful trip over to the Dark Side, where I spent a few days with Sheryl. I wondered how hard it would be to return to where EBOC Thomas lived the last years of his life and died there. He wasn’t there, and Sheryl said he hasn’t been back that she’s aware of, which makes me feel/think that if there is life after life, he’s off on his adventure, which is exactly where he should be. He doesn’t need to come back here to haunt people;-) though it would be nice if he’d show up for drink and a gab fest and tell us all about it.

As my Uncle Carl lay dying, he had a conversation with his long-deceased father. I sat by U. Carl’s bed, heard his said of the conversation, then there would be a pause, then he’d talk some more. When he was through I asked how the conversation went and he informed me it was good. I asked what Grandpa had to say, “Oh, he said, ‘Mbgliscuescf’ and then he said, ‘gblxdtvw’.” Yeah, well, so much for hearing from the other side of that veil.

Thanks for letting me know you don’t get the annoying pop up asking you to subscribe to my blog. Of course, I’d really like it if you did, but it’s okay if you don’t.

Doula: 

female slave. And that’s really what a Death Doula is, a slave to the dying person and his/her friends and family. We are there to help any way they would like that we can do. There are ways we can’t help as mandated by law. There are some cultures who do not want the bones that survived cremation, pounded into small pieces. But the law in this state says that all bones must be mashed and pulverized. 

Week 2 was the end of the ‘introduction’ and this week coming will be diving into the good stuff. The Death part. Part of the homework was to watch a couple of movies. I’ve finished one, It’s My Party”—a movie to watch if you want to cry. Goes back to the days of AIDS. My first tears came at 4:23—credits were still rolling. Sheesh. Then again at 20:34, 26:07, 1:05:24, and then at 1:26:27 I started in and couldn’t stop until the movie was over. It’s a beautiful movie, with a lot of lough out loud moments and can be found on YouTube. It’s not all tears. But a beautiful love story. I did volunteer work with people living (though at that time, it was really dying, but we were so damn optimistic) with AIDS. I am so grateful that today it is a chronic illness and controllable.

I haven’t watched the other movie, yet, An Honest Death: A Palliative Care Doctor’s Final Days. The Dr. helped a lot of people, and then came down with cancer, and asked for his final days to be photographed. He was also a Buddhist Priest. It’s short and very interesting. I didn’t cry.

Only one photo today. Took it on the Dark Side and it was so overcast none of the flowers on the hydrangea bush had turned their face to the sun. And all the flower bunches only had blooms around the outer ring. Obviously, Fall is arriving.

From the Paws of the Big Chihuahua:  

Mom says she’ll type as I talk because she doesn’t like all the paw and nails clicking on her keyboard. She also doesn’t like me sitting so close to her coffee. The ghost of her old cat, Tashiko, had come to me shortly after I moved in with Mom, and taught me how to move Mom’s coffee cup. “It’s a game she really likes to play,” she said. Of course, I quickly realized Mom doesn’t like that game, but Tash really enjoyed the prank. I know Mom misses Tash, and I wish she’d come back and play with me, but she doesn’t even come to visit anymore. Says it makes Mom cry. And she’s right. But Mom snuggles with me, now, and I’m a dog and everyone knows dogs are better than cats. Right? Right? 

“Grief and Joy are always holding hands.” –Sandy Yannone