Did She Cheat? Is She Bad—Or Smarter Than the Average Groundhog?

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Okay, the first few sentences of this post are being written on Tuesday, 2 February 2026. Those of you who are calendar savvy, know that today is Groundhog Day. Those of you who know your favorite Auntie Lenora, know today is her birthday, and she is therefore, a Groundhog.

She woke this morning a few minutes after 4am, that kind of wakefulness that said that if she rolled over to go back to sleep, it would take at least 2 hours to drop off for another hour of restless sleep. Sigh. She might as well get up and at least make the dog happy in letting him out. As she stood at the door, half past 4 in the morning, she remembered it is, in fact, her 83d anniversary of flying around old Sol, so she stepped outside in the cold and did not see her shadow, thereby bringing all of you, her favoritest people ever, an early Spring.

Yes, she knows, her Cousin Phil, of Punxsutawney fame, saw his shadow, but he’s in Pennsylvania, and doesn’t believe in getting up before sunrise. Your Auntie Lenora doesn’t  believe in the latter, either, unless it’s winter when the sun doesn’t come up until after 7am. It’s been suggested that she is thereby cheating, nothing against her Cousin Phil, but just maybe it makes her smarter? But he and she do have a gentleperson’s agreement, he gets to foretell the weather east of the Rockies, and she get the west. The Rockies are on their own, she guesses.

Niener, niener, niener—I told you so!!

Just last month, I mentioned Dr. Computer, and this morning (3 Feb) on Jeff Tiedrich’s column, Everyone is Entitled to my own Opinion, he has a quote from a video of Dr. Oz. He also has the video posted.

The quote: ““there’s no question about it, whether you want it or not — the best way to help some of these communities is gonna be AI-based avatars.”  Now, to be honest and transparent, our favorite Wizard Oz, did say, promise, and guarantee (say that in your best Cajun drawl—gar aaahn teeeeee) the Avatar would ONLY do the prelim part, then connect the patient to a real live, living, breathing licensed (not sure he said licensed) human doctor. Yeah. Right. With AI becoming what it’s becoming, how would you know? Anyhow, the clip is short, watch it. (No wonder Dorothy preferred leaving Oz to go back to Kansas! /snark/)

And this morning, 9 Feb 26, I came across this information from Medical Economics


“Oz claimed that if a patient went to a doctor for a diabetes diagnosis, it would be $100 per hour, while an appointment with an AI avatar would cost considerably less, at just $2 an hour. Oz also claimed that patients have rated the care they’ve received from an AI avatar as equal to or better than a human doctor. (Research suggests patients are actually more skeptical of medical advice given by AI.) Because of technologies like machine learning and AI, Oz claimed, it is now possible to scale ‘good ideas’ in an affordable and fast way.” [emphasis mine]

And now for some Happy News!

As you may remember from past posts, Thomas asked me to be his Literary Executrix. I have all his thumb drives, a delightful insight into his work, especially his memoir that he worked hard to finish while he could still type. He tried dictating but never got the hang of it (it’s harder than one may think). 

He had mentioned to his good friends Phoebe and Paul owner and editors of The Raven Chronicles, that he wanted them to have first right of refusal to publish it. A minor detail he neglected to tell me, by the way. However, when I finished minor editing for clarity, I mentioned it to Phoebe when she came to my book launch, and she suggested I send it to Paul to read. That he’d know what to do with it. I sent it to Paul quite a while ago and heard nothing beyond he’d received it and would get back to me. Unbeknownst to me, Paul also worked with Phoebe, who is the Editor in Chief of Raven Chronicles, where Thomas also worked as an editor. I knew they were friends, and that Paul wrote stories and novels, but not that he worked with Phoebe.

All of that is to get us to this week when I had a Zoom meeting with Phoebe and Paul, and they have accepted Thomas’s manuscript, plus some other writings of Thomas’s, and will publish it sometime in 2027. It was during that meeting I found out he’d told Phoebe a long time ago that he wanted her to have first right of refusal. I’m so glad that I mentioned his manuscript when she came to my book launch! Although, to be honest, I probably would have asked her advice on it anyhow. 

Be safe, be well, be happy!

“Mitákuye Oyás’iŋ” We are all related ~ Lakota Saying.

You Can Learn a Lot off YouTube!

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Who knew? I probably would have, if I’d listened, but…  Back in 1994, Nine Inch Nails wrote and recorded the song, Hurt. I guess I was too busy raising kidlets, working, and all the stuff associated with such, to even know who the Nine Inch Nails were, let alone heard their song. Hmmm, maybe I listened to the wrong station? As I recall, it was KVI in Seattle, if they still played music then.

In the meantime, one of my all-time favorite singers was Johnny Cash. I still like him a whole lot. The only thing, as I recall, I didn’t like about him was June Carter. Oh, she was okay, I guess. At least he seemed to think so, but, dammit, oh, well, at least they knew each other, he and I never met. sigh. Besides, I’ve heard she was deadly jealous 😉

After June Carter Cash died, I saw a video of Johnny Cash, singing Hurt. Naturally, I thought he wrote it after his beloved died. I believed that for years (yeah, I’m also a believer in some conspiracies, too. As well as Santa Clause and the egg-laying Easter Bunny—what can I say? I admit it.) So, today, I was horizontal on the bed, snuggling with the Brave Dog, called Mr. Dog by the receptionist at the vet’s yesterday, and scrolling through YouTube, when I came upon The Greatest Cover Song of All Time? Sammy didn’t think much of it, but I found it quite interesting. it’s about 15 minutes long, give or take.

Nothing against the Nine Inch Nails, but Johnny’s recording brought tears the first time I heard it, and every time since. Aaaah, unrequited love. /snort/

If it helps my credibility at all, I did know who Queen was. Oh, yeah. And I love watching them on YouTube! Oooooooh, yeah!!

Do you remember the Black Panthers? I sort of remember them. I was in the military when they formed, had been raised by a racist family (Daddy told me a few months before he died that one of the reasons he left mother was he couldn’t tolerate the racism of her and her family), and I was married to a guy from the deepest part of the South. You can probably guess with a fair amount of accuracy what I thought of the radical Panthers. And, in all honesty, if I knew then what I know now, I probably would have tried to join them.

It’s amazing what one can learn when one leaves home, when one lives with people from different cultures, different beliefs. When one listens. Admittedly, that took me a few years, learning to shut my mouth and open my ears and listen. Actually, I’m still working on that. But it seems to be the only way I can learn anything 😉 That and reading. 

So, what brought all this reflection you probably don’t give a rip about to the fore? I tumbled to a channel on YouTube, A Former Black Panther Speaks: Can America Be Saved? The gentleman running the channel, is calm, measured, and well-spoken. He puts forth a call for a calm, lawful, civic movement. “This channel is about calm action, human contact, and preventing escalation — not outrage.” If, like me, you’re in a position where demonstrating in person is not being kind to your body, but you still want to do something, give a listen to my bro. He has some good ideas about using the tools we have, that won’t put us in a wheelchair for a few weeks recouping from an in-person demonstration. Admittedly, the in-person demonstrations are more fun…../snort/ (If our demonstrations were marches, and not standing on the street, I might do more—it’s easier to march than to stand for any length of time. Another thing I learned in the military)

So, yeah, you can learn all sorts of fun things on the internet.

This guy/gal isn’t interested in YouTube, he’s got the whole outdoors!

The New and Improved Republican version of the ACA

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Well, this has been a long time coming. Something like 15 -16 years, if memory serves me correctly. At my age, that is always suspect. Honest. Trust me.

One of many accomplishments President Obama gave us was the Affordable Care Act health insurance. Two of the best things about the ACA were the affordability, especially with the subsidies, and that people with pre-existing conditions could not be refused insurance. That alone makes it worth while in my oh-so-humble opinion.

From the day the ACA passed, Republicans have been rather bellicose they had a new and improved health insurance ready, and it would be presented to the public in a couple of weeks. Well, after all these years’ worth of “two-weeks” the very stable genius has come up with a marvelous solution—send everyone $2,000 and let them buy what they want. 

I can see a couple of things wrong with that before I’ve finished my first cuppa the morning: 1. they won’t find any insurance willing to take pre-existing conditions for that amount of money and 2. people will spend the money on frivolous things like groceries which they also can’t afford but the effect on their families is more immediate. 

Believe me, I don’t want to have to go out into the open market and look for insurance. Nothing would please the insurance companies more than to have this become law. The system will be gamed, if not by the big companies, by all the start-ups that will come along to help take your money, but deny you benefits. (When did I become such a cynical old lady?)

I hope this bill, if it passes, does not affect you, or anyone you know. Healthcare should be a right of everyone in this country, not just the fortunate few.  

Speaking of health and insurance coverage, how would you feel, let along think, about having a computer diagnose your illness?

Because MDs went to school for several years to learn medicine, and how to best practice it to get and keep their patients healthy, and now find themselves in the examining room with their medically ignorant congressman/congresswoman standing just behind and to the side of them, telling them what they can and cannot prescribe. Medicine D, M, and Z are authorized, but none of the others especially if one of the others will help the patient even though the others are what common sense and good medicine tell the MD s/he needs to prescribe.

MDs have left not just certain states, but the entire country to go to other countries where they are not just allowed to practice good medicine but are expected to practice good medicine. This has left many areas, especially rural areas and towns in what are called medical deserts. 

And now, our doctors who have stayed, are over worked. And when those people living in a medical desert need help, they may have to deal with Dr. Computer for diagnosis, and prescriptions. My PCP belongs to a clinic which is part of a hospital, which in turn belongs to an ever-larger hospital network. Do I need to make an appointment? Ask my medical team a non-emergency question? I must log into a data base. Then I must choose from a menu, and ever more, if I need to send a message, I must do it through Grace, the database’s AI. Of course, she only understands a portion of what I’m asking, because I refuse to take my simple request down to one syllable words, with no more than four words per sentence. Eventually she gives me a command to type the word Message in the box, and then, I am given the new screen which says she will forward my message to my medical team. 

I am not fond of a lot of AI, and yet, I am very fond of some of it. I can take a picture of a duck in my pond, click on the correct button in my phone, and find out what kind of duck it is. Same with plants. And I’ve just discovered I can click on a 3D button next to my photo, a light scrolls up the picture, and voila! it’s in 3D. It’s amazing. Of course, I’m relatively confident that Auto-Correct is also AI. And we all know what I think of that, don’t we?

A friend tells me there is nothing to fear in AI, it’s only a tool. But who is using the tool? How are they using it? I just finished reading The Worlds I See: curiosity, exploration, and discovery at the dawn of AI by Dr. Fei-Fei Li, professor of computer science, Stanford University, and founding director, Stanford Institute for Human-Centered AI.

Li’s book is a double memoir. It is the memoir of her family coming to America from China when she was in high school, and her memoir of fascination with physics and how she became one of the movers and shakers of the founding of AI. I found it well written, riveting in the way she wrote about herself and family and seamlessly moved into school and profession. After finishing her book, I have less fear of AI, though there are some out there who would use it if given the opportunity, in nefarious ways. 

Because of the work she has done with the medical community, I think I have less fear of Dr. Computer than I may otherwise have, but my fear of Grace, and having to go through her is extant. I easily envision Grace telling me, I must allow all my information into the AI database or I cannot continue. I have no problem seeing Grace tell a patient they do not qualify to talk to Dr. Computer as they have a pre-existing condition of in-grown toenails. Dr. Computer, if one can ever get to her/him, does not have history with the patient. I well remember years ago when I told my gynecologist that I got headaches that would bring an elephant to its knees every month, and he said, “take Tylenol.” Yeah, doc, did you read my chart? I’m freaking allergic to Tylenol! (Last time I went to him.) But my PCP said, “I know you. You do not have an addictive personality. Here’s a prescription for Percodan (four pills) and Imitrex (two pills). The next time you get the headache, take an Imitrex. If not gone in 20 minutes, take the second Imitrex. If not gone in 20 minutes, take a Percodan.” Ten minutes after the second Imitrex, I nearly passed out at the sudden cessation of pain. Quickest way he’d ever found to determine if my headaches were migraines (they were) or something more testing would be needed on (not). How do you talk with a Computer?

So, in order to get your $2,000 check, how many new and existing insurance companies will send you to Dr. Computer, the only MD on their approved list at your rate of pay, who will hang up once s/he tells you to take Aspirin (I think Tylenol is on RFK’s s**t list now.) and if you call back to remind the AI that you’re allergic, or have tried it, another visit is logged against you. 

The Orange Pustule said something the other day about his moral authority being the only check on his actions he needs. Once again, I’m terrified of the hands who wields AI.

If you enjoy TED Talks, check this one out, Fei-Fei Li, AI pioneer.

And, yes, there are entertainments in AI that brings smiles. At least I think it’s AI. 

Great Blue Heron helps himself to our little frogs. Claw and beak in real time out my office window. 

What Did Sheri S. Tepper Know, and How Did She Know It?

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One of my all-time favorite books by one of my all-time favorite authors, Sheri S. Tepper, is Gate to Women’s Country.I’ve read the book at least 3 times, but it’s been a while, and have just read about it in Wikipedia and in The Big A. I can tell it is time to re-read it because the thing I remember the most, and loved the most, is the way they fought wars. Projectiles were not allowed. Warriors had to be able to look to look their opponent in the eyes as they either prepared to kill or be killed. No atlatls, no spears, no bows and arrows, no darts, no projectiles. Period.

If you gotta fight a war, do it with dignity, with respect. No missiles, no bombs, no planes, no drones. Look your intended victim in the eyes and know whose life you’re taking. Or who is taking yours.

Why am I asking this question now, after her 1988 book has been out and is still selling? Because of Keith Olbermann’s podcast on Monday 12 Jan 26. The gun part starts at 15:18. There is research out there that shows that firing in indoor situations, and firing military weapons outdoors or indoors, leaves the shooters suffering concussion-like symptoms from the repeat blast exposure.

The New York Times has an article Target Shooting Could Be Causing Brain Injuries. We Measured the Danger. By Thomas Gibbons-Neff, Dave Philipps, and Jeremy White. Cinematography by Zach Caldwell and Jonah Markowitz. A friend kindly sent me the article, to which I am paywalled from, so I could read it. Well worth reading, however you can do it.

According to the US military findings, evidence shows “that firing some military weapons can damage brain clls, and repeate 4xposure may cause permanent injuries. But there is next to no public information about the strength of the blast waves delivered by civilian firearms, or the potential hazard.” [emphasis mine] (From NYT article)

To me, the most fascinating graphic of all three articles is in the one, about 2/3-3/4 of the way down the NYT one, where the guy is firing with a heavy metal curtain behind him to visibly show the shock waves as they pass over and through the shooter. How they twist, etc. Scary. Honest. Trust me.

NPR’s article, Blasts from military weapons may injure the brain yhrough its blood vessels has different information, including the quote below.

“A blast isn’t just like a blow to the head, when it comes to brain injury.

“A head impact tends to injure structures near the surface. A blast wave keeps going.

“The result can be impaired blood flow to an area like the brain stem, which controls breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure.”

The American Brain Foundation’s article, The Hidden Impact: How Military Activity Affects Brain Healtharticle opens with: “Military activity, specifically exposure to blasts in training and combat, can have a significant impact on brain health. Ongoing research is uncovering how repeated exposure to blast waves can cause brain injuries and may be linked to cognitive decline. They can also lead to long-term effects, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and increased suicide rates among veterans.” 

I gotta admit, I love this quote from the article: “Researchers are currently exploring how to measure blast exposure and evaluate its effects on soldiers during routine training. As they learn more, the hope is to not only develop diagnostic tests and treatments for those who suffer from the long-term effects of blast waves, but also to find ways to adjust military equipment to decrease the exposure level.”  [emphasis mine] I know it’s a simplistic idea, and I’m a simplistic kinda gal, but why not get rid of the damn guns? Issue all GI’s (and cops & robbers) swords and knives. period. Or better yet, get rid of all weapons and use hand to hand martial arts combat only. Yeah! I like that idea the best. Bring Bruce Lee back!

When I was in the Washington State Air National Guard, I fired expert with the M-16 and was asked to join the Rifle Team. It was quite an honor, and I seriously considered it, until I discovered I’d have to buy my own practice ammo. That stuff’s expensive, so I regretfully declined. I don’t know if the competition meets were indoors or outdoors, but being the wimp I am, I imagine most of my target practice would have been indoors. Especially since I lived in the rainy part of the state at the time. Turns out that firing indoors is the worst possible scenario due to a number of factors, primarily the echo effect.

It isn’t the noise, it’s the blast waves. We didn’t evolve surrounded by munitions going off all the time. Our skulls are bone, are permeable to things we can’t see. So, maybe Sheri S. Tepper was truly on to something. Of course, I’m not so naïve as to think we’ll ever get rid of our guns, especially in this country. We don’t care about other people’s lives, why should we care about ours? But boy of boy, it is fun to dream.

Please, if you are a gun enthusiast, and enjoy firing, do it outside where there is a considerable drop in the amount of blast blowback, and stick to smaller weapons. And, yeah, firing is a rush of fun. Take up skeet shooting — 1. it’s an outdoor sport, 2. the longer barrel of the shotgun means less blast effect on your head, and 3. no matter how many skeets you shoot, they will never go on the endangered species list. Honest. Trust me.

In the meantime, give the GIs and the Vets you know and meet, an extra hug. Their sacrifice may be greater than they, or we, know. Especially those who no longer feel safe in a traditional home. 

Sorry, I have no photos of projectile weapons, nor of soldiers using same; however, I will share a photo I took a few days ago of some of the local Canada geese preparing to March to Pretoria. Okay, not really. The Boer War ended long before these guys were hatched, but the song is still around. Apparently, the English came up with the song as a rally for the troops marching to Pretoria, and the Boers took it up, and sang it in Afrikaans, so it was a popular song on either side of the war. Who knew? I remember singing it when I was a kidlet but haven’t a clue why. Anyhow my clueless geese, on their way to somewhere in the dawn’s early light…

Yep, there’s one in every crowd…..

Preach it, Rev. Staceypants!

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Good morning! It is cold out (30F), and dark (6:30am), and I’ve already spent a couple of hours on poetry. My computer is playing soft, ambient music, Sammy the Bravest Dog, has been out and is now back on the bed, sleeping. Sometimes, he truly acts more like a cat than a dog, but I’ve promised not to tell his union representative 😉 After all, I did ask for a cat, and got him.

I am setting a new morning habit. I now get up, turn on my computer, and put four items on my playlist. This mornings were two of Ilia Malinan skating, one mildly political (the National Opera has pulled out of The Kennedy Center Memorial), and finishing with the hours long ambient music. I am also trying to limit my news, especially political news to two days a week—Mondays and Thursdays.

Why those two days, you may be wondering? Well, it’s easy. Those are the two mornings Countdown with Keith Olbermann is on. I admit, if I see something from David Reddish, I do tend to watch it, because a) he’s cute and b) he usually has some good snark to make me laugh.

I also watch not political news, and news not laden with American Politics. you know, fun stuff like Ukrainian winning, wars, revolutions, cats, volcanoes, Don Kim upcycling old jeans into designer bags, Quilt Like an Artist, and AI stories which don’t mean to be funny but I can’t help LOLOLOLing, because they are.

I am trying to get back to writing on a regular basis, and don’t need/want all the distractions of YouTube. Well, yes, I want them, but then I don’t write. Squirrel!! And as you may have gathered, writing is hard work.

I have resigned from my volunteer work, which was not an easy decision. I miss helping people, but let’s be honest, at my age, I ain’t as young as I used to was! At least that’s what my body keeps telling me;-) That, and it’s time to act my age—where’s the fun in that?

I also need to get back to reading. Yes, I spent a year reading very little. It’s so much easier to listen to the mindless AI stories. Incidentally, the SF/F ones, especially HFY are pretty entertaining. IF you like SF/F, give them a try. But, please, I beg of you, do not leave any comments or clicks on them. Don’t help them get better or make it harder for a human writer.

Speaking of AI, a friend sent me an interesting article on X, Footprints in the Sand: The House You Thought Was Emptyby @iruletheworldmo. Or maybe @iruletheworldmo just reposted it? I don’t know, but it is an interesting, and somewhat disconcerting if not downright scary, article on AI. My cousin pointed out to me that Yuval Noah Harari has been writing articles about this for some time. Anyhow, as my friend said when he sent it, it could be written by AI for all he knows. If you can’t open it, and want to read it, please let me know.

Oh, if you haven’t yet discovered Dr. Stacey Patton, you’re in for a treat. Especially her Sunday Sermons! Yes indeedy, this old Atheist is back in the pews yellin’ Amen! and Preach it Rev Staceypants! and anything else appropriate. I think it takes a modicum of courage to read Dr. Stacey’s columns, etc., because she is not dainty, diplomatic, or quiet. She yells it as she sees it and that’s got to be hard on some readers, especially those raised white and privileged. Google her. Check her out. She’s my kinda person!!!

I’ve now read this morning’s sermon, and finished this piece. It is now 7:30am, and the cold (31F) outside my window is black and white, in another 30 minutes or so, it will be in freezing color, but it’s o’cast, and no true sunlight, yet.

And here is my photo of the week. I took it out of my office window of an afternoon a few days ago. Those are Canada Geese in the sky, coming in for a landing.

Have a Marvelous Week, remember to be grateful you’re still looking down at the grass. Remember the words of our Dalai Lama that pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. And tell someone you love them this day.

Ready or Not, 2026 is Here!

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9 January 2026

Well, this is embarrassing. I wrote a post on the first (see below) and tried to post it, and something was amiss, so I contacted my webmistress, and she got it fixed and let me know a couple days ago all was well, and I forgot to go in and post it. So, now it’s a double post.

Except this one will be extra short 😉

And I wish you all a bang-up marvelous 2026. May goodness outweigh badness to the nth degree this new year!

1 January 2026

2025 is now in our rear-view mirror! And you know what I’m thankful for? Groundhog Day, the movie, is pure fiction. Lordy, lordy, but I hate even the shivery thought of having to repeat 2025. Ever.

True, there were some good things that happened, most notable being that Saying Goodbye to Thomas (Finishing Line Press) is now published and available at your favorite bookstore. And, should you not wish to purchase from the big A, and not have a store near you or it’s too cold to go out, I suggest www.Bookshop.org. True, you’ll have to pay s/h, but not much, and a certain percentage of the purchase price goes to independent bookstores (you can even choose your favorite).

And, of course, your favorite Old Auntie survived the identity theft and resultant aches & pains—many thanks to the help of Favorite Daughter. To be honest, I’m not sure I could have survived without her help.

I did get some poetry written and published (Thank you Quill & Parchment and Dos Gatos Press). Watched way too much YouTube. Not too much on the political front, as those tend to add to the depression I’ve been fighting, and mostly winning, for the past 14 months. The new AI stories, most on revenge, and pretty funny. The stories, the obvious lack of I in the AI, especially the so-called military ones. No, I do not leave comments, nor click on them. I’m pretty sure many of them are out of China, but if you listen, you can tell they’re AI. Maybe A+ would be a better descriptor? A-?? Also one of the ways to tell if the news you’re watching by your favorite pundit is really Pundit or A+/-. Listen. You’ll know.

On 1 June 2018, I welcomed a rescue large Chihuahua named Sammy, into my life. He was literally afraid of his own shadow, of dead, dried, zombie leaves that ran at him to eat puppy brains, any other human that spoke to him, dogs on leashes, ducks on his sidewalk, thunder terrified him, as well as fireworks. With thunder, he becomes highly (lowly? his legs are pretty short??) agitated, and he jumps off the bed, goes under the bed, then back on the bed, and repeats until the offending sounds finally quit. I changed his name to Sammy Brave Dog, hoping it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Last night, New Year’s Eve, the fireworks started somewhere around midnight (I assume) and I braced to become his launchpad off the bed to the floor when he nosed his way under the blankets and snuggled next to me, and didn’t so much as shiver or shake the rest of the night. In checking my smart watch, I see I was awake for a little over an hour roughly between midnight and 1:10am. When the fireworks were going off. And my puppy slept through it!!! 

And the zombie puppy-brain-eating-leaves that attack him at the whim of the wind? For the most part, he now just raises is back leg and tells them who the boss is!

While visiting a friend the other day, I was struck by a black/white photo of a white wolf in snow, on her wall. The outline was there, but it was almost all white except the eyes and nose. So, I came home and started playing with my camera and my mini-wolf. He is an extremely shy dog, but here are a couple photos, one as he looks, and the other in my feeble attempt to make him a white wolf. 

Sammy Brave Dog as he is.

Sammy Brave Wolf as he thinks he is.

Are You Adoptable?

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Oh for heaven’s sake. Somehow, when I copied and pasted, I dropped the lead paragraph: This is a reprint from my now defunct blog, Odds n Bods, from a different tim, with a few changes, and additions. /sigh/

I read an article the other day that got me to thinking a tad bit about old age, growing older, and all the related implications.

The article, “He was one of millions of Chinese seniors growing old alone. So he put himself up for adoption.” is by Emily Rauhala at The Washington Post, May 2, 2018.

It is about an 85-year-old Chinese man, a widower, with children who had long since moved away and had lives of their own. The old ways in China are dying, if not dead. Modernity has come, and with it the fact that children are not always in a position to care for aging parents as once was the norm. Han Zicheng, tired of being alone, of having no sons to care for him (he claimed he had two, one of them said there were three), posted a note in a public place asking for someone to adopt him so he would not die uncared for, alone.

Loneliness is a terrible thing, and we, as a species, seem to feel it more when we are surrounded by people, strangers. I wrote a blog about it December 28, 2015, Are You Lonesome Tonight? on a now defunct blog and even had a link to Elvis singing his popular song. Fortunately the YouTube link to The King’s recording is still available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XVdtX7uSnk.

My memory of the article about Mr. Han is he was “needy”—he complained about his plight, he didn’t want to do for himself, he expected others to do for him. He refused to go to a nursing home. There were people who maintained contact with him, sporadic at best, but not his family. 

I’m sure we all know people like Mr. Han, I certainly do. They are very needy, and though surrounded by people, no one pays them much attention because they are always angry or complaining. Most of them are also excellent manipulators, and often one doesn’t realize what is happening until they’ve been sucked in. Needy people are exhausting people. They don’t want to help themselves; they want someone to “fix” it for them, whatever “it” is. There is a reason I never became a counselor. 

Someone sent me a quote by Cynthia Nelms the other day, “Nobody cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” It’s good advice. Truly, nobody cares. Oh, that’s not to say, when the now and again calamity hits they don’t care, but it gets jaded hearing nothing but complaints from people, even when couched in such a manner they think they’re being cute and people won’t notice. Complaining is a habit, and like any habit, it can be broken with a little work. Okay, a lot of work. Still it’s a habit that can be broken. Or continually reinforced. Pay attention to what you think, speak, and write. Is it positive, or is there a hint of whine? Cheese not included. 

I read an article the other day by a counselor, and I now wish I’d marked it, written it down, but I didn’t. Old age, ya know? Anyhow the counselor said that forgiving someone isn’t about them, it’s about the one who forgives. You can hate someone for your whole life, and guess how much sleep the hated person loses over it? Yeah, none. How much do YOU lose over it? The counselor suggested even if you don’t really want to forgive the offending person, pretend to forgive them. Every time you think of them, and start getting angry, etc., stop and say something like, “(Name) you really hurt me. I forgive you.” and then go one with your day. Repeat as often as necessary. Eventually, you’ll really forgive them without really noticing, and you’ll start to feel better than you’ve felt in years.

At some point in my life it came to me that I’m probably going to be alone far more than I’m going to be coupled, and if that’s the case, I’d darned well better learn to like myself, because I’m going to be the best, and possibly only, company I’m going to have as I age, grow old, and die.

By the way, this idea of being afraid to die alone is rather odd, if you think about it. Two things we always do alone are being birthed and dying. There may be friends and or family present, but when push comes to shove (pun intended) we’re gonna do it alone. If it frightens you, I suggest you do some searching as to why it frightens you, and then act and change so it doesn’t. Educate yourself. If the face of the god you worship is a vengeful, wrathful, frightening one, consider finding a more forgiving, humorous, and loving face of your god to worship. As Reverend Mother Odrade, BG, said, “Face your fears or they will climb over your back.”

Are you lonesome? Want someone to adopt you? Are you adoptable? Which baby do you gravitate to—the happy, bubbly baby, who loves to burble and smile? —or the grumpy one who would rather cry and whimper and scream? Who would you adopt?

Public Service Announcement: I sent two checks off to the ALS Association and End of Life Washington today, in memory of Thomas, each for $80.00. Thanks to all of you who bought the book. And thanks to all of you who will buy the book, the next check will go out in February.

Lenora

“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” –Elbert Hubbard

The Book has Launched

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I was at The Book Tree in Kirkland, WA on Saturday 2 August 2025, to read some poetry from Saying Goodbye to Thomas and other poems to officially launch the book, to send it out into bookstores and the hands and hearts of readers.

I spent time figuring out how condense the video my Sister of Choice, Lee, took of m reading. Finally called my Guru, and he said why not just load it to YouTube and put the link in. So, I did. This was in a bookstore, and you’ll hear me read AND the door bell, as the door opens and closes.

Enjoy the reading. Enjoy meeting Thomas if you weren’t one of the most fortunate to have known him in life, meet him in spirit.

The ISBN: 979-8899900471, take it, the title Saying Goodbye to Thomas, my name ah, come on, you know be my now, I’m Lenora Rain-Lee Good–your favorite Auntie Lenora, and go into your favorite brick and mortar bookstore to order your copy (either paper back or hardback). Remember, all proceeds/royalties will be divided equally between ALS Association and Death With Dignity.

Aho!

An Open Letter to Adult Children of Parents of a Senior Age

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Are your parents ageing in place? Are they losing physical abilities? Mental abilities? Has the time come for them to move to whatever city you live in so you can more easily care for them?

Might I suggest you consider changing the game? YOU move to be near them. Yes, I know, they’re retired, and you’ve found a marvelous retirement home just a few miles down the road where they can be with other people their age, they can take up golf (they’ve never expressed an interest in golf, but still, they can do it), they have two busses to take them to doctor’s appointments, etc., did I mention there are lots of people their age to play cards with, visit with, knit with, yadda, yadda, yadda…

Just because they are of an age doesn’t make them instant friends. I can’t think of anything worse than moving in with a bazillion old farts and fartesses. They tend to have two major topics of conversation:  1. their bodily functions and 2. their children who parked them there and never come to visit. Oh, and remember the cliques of grade school? They thrive in retirement homes!

I know you love your parents, and you care about them, and want to see them happy, but pulling them from a town they know, from people they know, and moving them to someplace else is a way for you to assuage your guilt, not to show your love for Mom and Pop.

Can you imagine going to the dining room to eat and find yourself either unable to break into an established clique to eat with someone whose company you might enjoy while eating, only to then find yourself mired in a conversation of bowel movements—color, consistency, or lack thereof, or the complaint brigade whose children never come and seldom call? Or, if you moved them into the place with the golf course, which they don’t use, being stuck at a table of avid golfers. That’s what you want to inflict upon Mom and Pop.

It’s hard moving from a place where you’ve lived for years, made roots, have friends, and go someplace where you know no one. I know. I’ve done it. And I sought out areas with a good mix of ages. As irritating as those short-legged people with high pitched voices can be, they make me smile, and I would NOT want to live anyplace without them. They help keep me young. 

What do your parents love doing? Quilting? Writing? Open Mic readings? Going to the museums? Sitting in the park and watching people? Go out to eat at their ethnic restaurants? Plein air art? Watching High School football? Going to the University for mind limbering classes?

Consider looking at apartments downtown, preferable ones with a wide range of tenant age, where they can walk to the grocery store, take advantage of public transportation, walk to parks to watch and listen to kids run and play, lovers walk arm in arm, visit museums, go to outside venues for music, art, etc., where they can make friends of different ages, and stay younger, longer.

There is one other idea that needs to be discussed—that of the Parent of a Certain Age moving to be closer to her children. It does seem to be mothers who wish to be closer to their nuclear family, especially if Mom is widowed or divorced, and grandchildren are young. I’ve known several women who moved to be near their children, and grands, selling homes they loved, leaving friends of years, etc., only to get moved in, and have the chosen child get a better job a thousand miles down the road. One case I know is the chosen child moved clear across the country. Mom followed. Chosen One moved back. Mom followed. I have no idea if Chosen One has moved, again, but those moves were expensive. For all. 

So, if you want your folks to move near you, ask what they want. And listen. And be realistic in the amount of time you are willing to spend with them. Have a date night with your partner every week? Set one up with your folks! Take them out, show them their new town, take them to dinner, the theater, whatever they choose. Make that night sacrosanct as your date night. If they don’t want the old folk’s home, don’t forget downtown apartments.

Lost Files and Box of Books

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Lost Files:

As mentioned a couple posts ago, I had my identity stolen last April—the nightmare that keeps on giving.

Once I had my computer back (note: the thief didn’t steal the actual computer, he hijacked my iCloud files) from the thief, I took it to a trusted computer store, and had it ‘scrubbed’ for any trojans, viruses, etc. that the thief may have planted. It came home all squeaky clean—and missing about four and a half years of my poetry. I thought my files were backed up, but, alas, not to be found. Talk about grief and depression! 

The thief also stole my phone number, and many thanks to the crew at our local Verizon store, I got it back the night before my number was to go back into the pool of numbers and beyond retrieving. We had to take my phone back to factory settings to get the thief’s phone number off it. Which meant I’d lose all the apps I’d put on. No biggee, just a pain. Well, one biggee, I’ve not been able to find the solitaire game I had enjoyed. The new ones are subpar in my opinion.

Sooo, last Monday night, I saw an app on my phone I didn’t remember seeing. Called “Files.” Now, I’m just a tad leery of clicking on things since the Great Hijacking. But eventually I had to click on it. And there were my Document files. Would my lost files be there? I wasn’t sure I wanted yet another major loss, and it was with a great deal of trepidation I scrolled down and there they were and are. Depression cured. 

When I was spending so much time in Kirkland, with Thomas, I started saving everything to the cloud so I could access files I needed/wanted from my iPad. Then, after I came home, where I had my computer, I forgot about it. Apparently, when I started backing everything up to the cloud, a magic app appeared on my phone, which I never saw (wasn’t looking for it). I couldn’t figure out why the thief would want to delete them, and seriously doubt he did. Not sure where they went, but I’m beyond delighted to have found them. 

Box of Books:

I ordered books from the publisher and received 15 pounds of books in a box the other day, direct from the printer. Books ordered from the publisher in ones and twos, such as pre-orders, should be arriving in your mailboxes this week. I am thrilled with the way it looks. The cover photo by Sherry Walker turned out great! Thank you, Ms Walker!!!

I haven’t received my hardback book yet, but I’m sure it, too, is gorgeous. If you haven’t yet ordered your very own copy, please consider ordering from the publisher, your local indie bookstore, or any of the online stores. 

Saying Goodbye to Thomas
by Lenora Rain-Lee Good
ISBN 979-8-89990-036-5 First Edition
Finishing Line Press (dot) com

Paperback: $17.99
Hardback: $27.99

Remember, all royalties will be divided equally between the ALS Association and End of Life Washington (and no, it isn’t suicide).

Please consider ordering a copy, and if you’re in the Kirkland area of Washington State, please consider combing by The Book Tree from 5:24 to 8:22 pm on August 2, 2025 for a Special, Remembering Thomas, and the official launch of Saying Goodbye to Thomas. Enjoy a great night of poetry by poets who knew and loved Thomas.

“A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.”
~ Robert A. Heinlein