Category Archives: Politics

Shaggy Dogs and Other Less Obvious Consequences of Covid19 Lockdown

Indeed, this virus lockdown has had some strange consequences. While I am all for wearing masks, and social distancing (well, unless that cute guy in apartment…oh, never mind), I can understand the closing of many businesses; however, there are two that leave me a tad flummoxed. 

  1. Hair stylists/barbers. As a whole, the only other people who are as aware of, and practice assiduously cleanliness and sterile procedures, are medical personnel. At least in my state (Washington), salons have extremely high standards of both and are regularly inspected by the authorities. Screw up and lose your license. And if the stylist wears a mask and doesn’t work if s/he has symptoms, and if clients don’t come in if they have symptoms, it should be fairly safe. 
  2. Pet Groomers. Number one, social distancing can be practiced in the salon between groomers, and when pets are brought in and picked up, social distancing can also be practiced between pet parents and groomers. It is very difficult for many people to shampoo their pets, let alone trim nails, etc. People with ‘fur children’ worry about them, especially when nails grow out and become too long. And long nails are painful for the pets.

Yes, I have a shaggy dog. With bear claws for toenails. He has a special rapport with his groomer he does not have with me. He trusts her to bathe him. He doesn’t trust me for that. He doesn’t like to be put in the sink. He doesn’t like to be wet. He hates the rain whether it comes from Grandfather Sky or the sprinklers where we live. Water, in his opinion, belongs in his bowl and no where else. Especially not on him! 

This is not a shaggy dog. It’s a pelican and a common merganser duck going through a Bad Feather Day. The wind is blowing, and their feathers are ruffled. The temperature, even without wind chill, was below freezing that day.

And if all that isn’t enough to make an old fartess cry, there was a spate of dead crows on I-90 the other day. This old fartess likes crows. A lot. The folks at the Washington State Department of Transportation (WSDOT) became concerned as there were over 450 dead crows in a short space of freeway outside of Ellensburg. Were they poisoned? Had they contracted Covid 19? They collected 450 crow carcasses and took them to the Washington State University Veterinary School for testing. It was determined that 98% of the crows had died by colliding with trucks. Did they not have their usual look-out crow? Some students and a professor went to the area where the crows were collected and after watching more collisions realized that the crows had, indeed posted their look-out crows to call out impending danger. Unfortunately, when the trucks came barreling down the freeway, the lookout crows called out, “Cah, cah.” Not one called out “Truck, truck.”

Hey, if I gotta live with a shaggy dog, so, dammit, do you! Actually, I’m in dire need of a few good shaggy dog stories, please, please, if you have any to spare, send them to me, send them to me, send them to me now. Use the Contact form.

Have a great week. Remember to laugh often and loud, sing a little, dance like you’re four years old and wearing a Batman cape, and be sure to stop by again—same bat time, same bat channel. The coffee’s hot, the biscotti are homemade, and we always have time for a short break. Stay safe, stay healthy, and care for and love one another—because one another is all we’ve really got.

Auntie Lenora

postscripts:

Apologies to Judy Carne for mutilating her line.

Feel free to let me know in the comment section if this was a one-groaner up to a five-groaner shaggy dog story. 

Dancing While on Lockdown

My friend Nonie sent this video to me a month or two ago and I watch it frequently. The dancers are good, but the audience at the end cracks me up each time I watch. We all need something to bring us cheer and happiness, laughs and giggles. So here. Laugh. Giggle. Join the dance. It’s less than a minute long. Indulge! Save it to your desktop and indulge often. It’s necessary. Honest. Trust me.

And I’m still getting emails, about five a day, from Team Other (formally known as Team Opposition). Oh. Em. Gee. They are better than getting a joke a day. Of course, I also get emails that are almost the same from Team Us, so I can’t complain about the one and not the other. Somehow, the ones from Team Other are funny, and Team Us emails are just annoying. Perhaps it’s my warped sense of humor?

The little House Finch outside my patio could care less how many emails I get from anyone, or even if I get any. All he (females are drab, males have color) cares about are the seeds he’s busily harvesting.

My new computer is here, is up, and is working. I wasn’t sure how to get all the stuff from my old computer to my new one; but figured a good place to start would be to use the Quick Start guide that always comes with new computers. Bwahahahaha! Tweren’t none! They assumed (silly Apple people) that if I was smart enough to buy an iMac, I was smart enough to plug it in and turn it on. Eventually, I figured that out. Then there were two pictures that kept alternating. One of the keyboard; the other the mouse. Eventually I realized there is a wee teensy on-off switch and I had to turn them on. Sigh. From there it was relatively painless. Did I have another Mac? Yes. Did I have data I wished to transfer from it to the new one? Oh, yes. Well, then, do this, this, and go have a cuppa. Voila! If directions are there, I’m pretty good at following them ;-). Sometimes. Especially if they are in words. English words.

I do have suggestions for Apple, not that they’re overly excited to reach out to me, or read the emails I’ve sent — 

  1. While the keyboard is stylish, and cute, I can’t use it. Make it so it breaks in half and can be tented (think Gold Touch) and add a ‘right’ delete button as well as a ‘left’ delete button, I would be much happier with it. I tried using the new keyboard and my carpal tunnel started acting up again. The oh-so-stylish magic mouse has also been swapped out for my ‘tower’ mouse. Same reason: tunneling carpals.
  2. ALL the slots for peripherals are in the back, at the bottom. Nothing remains on the side. There are nonApple after-market ‘hubs’ one can buy and fasten to the front or bottom of the iMac for most of the slots, or one that the iMac can stand on, adding an inch or so to the height, that handles jacks, and everything else. Still, when one pays what they pay for a computer, I think one should get a couple of ‘easy’ fixes for free. Especially when I’m the one forking over my retirement check!
  3. They could also preload it with a no-charge commercial-free game of solitaire! 

So, now I have my new one working away, and I hope to get back to podcast recording soon. I really want to go live before the end of June.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date to go dancing. Harharharhar….!!!

Have a great week. Remember to laugh, sing a little, dance like no one is watching and be sure to stop by again—same bat time, same bat channel. The coffee will be made, the biscotti are homemade, and we always have time for a short break. Stay safe, stay healthy, care for, and love one another—because one another is all we’ve really got.

Auntie Lenora

Surveys and the People Who Send Them

I know, I promised to try not to talk politics, but this was just too funny not to talk about. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima grande.

I received one of the best chuckles ever the other morning when I opened up my email and discovered I had joined “Team Opposition.”

The day before, as I read an article online, an ad appeared wanting to know if I approved/disapproved/or was unsure of a certain politician. I clicked Disapproved. Of course, in order for my vote to count, and they assured me it was veryimportant, and they would welcome my input, yadda yadda yadda, I had to add my email. (I know how to block emails so wasn’t too concerned) and submitted. To be honest, I was surprised they didn’t ask me for money, but then I figured since I disapproved, the algorithms of their site would realize I wouldn’t donate.

The next morning, I received a great email welcoming me to “Team Opposition.” That said Politician is counting on me, and to please add my cell number to the list so I can get said Politician’s PERSONALLY sent updates, etc. Oddly, the home team still didn’t ask for money. And I didn’t volunteer my number.

I hate that they are counting me as part of their team, because I’m not, but then, it may skew their numbers a wee bit if enough of us ‘join’ the team. But they’re good for a laugh. Okay, a chuckle, now and then.

I also really hate all those online and emailed surveys where they try to assure me how important my opinion is, but all they really want is my money. They obviously don’t read their surveys, they merely glean emails, and figure if you responded, you’re on their team. Not!

Sometimes, I think Britain has the right idea. No campaigning until six weeks before the election! Actually, it isn’t sometimes I think this, it’s most every day, every hour I think of politics, I think of this. Think how much real work would get done if we weren’t so immersed in party politics day in and day out. 

A duck swimming in a body of water

Description automatically generated

A Pelican Pollster dabbling for important input and greenbacks. Lotsa Greenbacks.

Addendum: A couple days later, I received another one question poll, I answered and was immediately sent to the website. The poor, pitiful, politician looks like he’s going to bawl, and now he really wants my money (I knew he did!), but I’m not donating. Well, not to him, anyway. As I started to close the link, a note popped up telling me I wasn’t through yet, I hadn’t donated any money. Computers are getting too darned smart.

A swan swimming in a body of water

Description automatically generated

This is not a Politician. She’s a Pelican. And she’s cold (picture was taken in January 2020). She doesn’t really know about, or care about, Politicians of any ilk. She’s far more interested in finding lunch. She should be interested in politics, as Politicians control whether or not she will have lunch available to find in years to come. And I have no idea of the maleness or femaleness of said bird. I figure it’s only important that the bird knows!

In the meantime…

Are you a poet? Do you like poetry? Do you miss Open Mics? If you answered at least 2 out of 3 of those questions with a Yes, check out Rattle.com.  They are now hosting a dedicated weekly open mic show in addition to their usual livestreamed Rattlecast episodes. This week’s open mic will broadcast live on Sunday at Noon ET /9am PT at https://youtu.be/Zu4b9Hm1r1Y

If you’re interested in sharing a poem that relates directly to current events, published or not, you can join in by Skype (rattlepoetry) or the regular phone. Just contact Tim (Tim Green, Editor, Rattle) either of those ways during the show, and he’ll call back as many people as he can. Details are in the notes on the YouTube page, and he gives out the phone number during the broadcast, but it’s 818-850-7727—and while you’re there, please do click that “subscribe” button. I haven’t joined in yet, but I did take a couple minutes to lurk this past Sunday and plan on participating next week. 

It’s worth marking and remembering, and also worth remembering my favorite quote about poets from the late Robert A. Heinlein, “A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.” Oh, yeah….;-)

Hmmm, maybe the pelican pollster is really a pelican poet looking for an open mic??? Do fish write poetry and have open mics??

Have a great week. Remember to laugh, sing a little, dance like no one is watching and be sure to stop by again—same bat time, same bat channel. The coffee will be made, the biscotti are homemade, and we always have time for a short break. Stay safe, stay healthy, and care for and love one another—because one another is all we’ve really got.

Auntie Lenora