You Undoubtedly Noticed: I didn’t post a blog last week! I was with a couple of friends who died, one on Wednesday and the other on Monday. They weren’t close friends, but they were friends.
And then I read an article in (I think) the London Times by a man who was nine years old when his mother was diagnosed with cancer. I don’t remember what happened to Dad, but he wasn’t there. And this young boy became a primary care giver for his mom. She died when he was thirteen. He would take care of her in the morning, before school, and rush home to take care of her after school. He did everything, and when the pain got to be too much, she was taken to a psychiatric hospital, where she spent her last weeks without pain meds, and he would come buy every day on his way home from school to be with her, to help, to care.
He is a politician now, and when the vote comes up for medical assistance in dying in the UK, he will vote against it, because he thinks every child should have the same opportunities he did, to care for his dying parent, like he did. Do watch and listen to them scream in agony. Have you ever heard such selfish drivel? Not once did he think that maybe his mom was in enough pain she would have liked to exit earlier and to spare him the agony of watching her die. Maybe he’s a sadist in disguise.
I don’t know, but I sure think he was being mighty selfish. There was another letter a few days later, by a woman, a priest of her church, I forgot her title. Her letter was a little different, but it came down to suffering is good for the soul and I guess her god likes his humans to suffer now so they won’t suffer later.
The subject of death came up in our Death Café this afternoon. (now is that a co inky dink? or what? /snort/) and I mentioned that in this state we have Death With Dignity for those who want it and qualify. Yes, people have to jump through hoops to partake, and every effort is exerted to be sure it is what the client wants, and 2 prescribers, one a doctor, agree. And they have the right to say, “No.” at any time. One person asked me if Death With Dignity was euthanasia. Another gal said no, euthanasia is what we do for our pets. I thought that was a good response and agreed with her, and gave the patrons of our café two sites to go to for information.
I think about Death With Dignity like I think about Abortion—if you don’t want either one, don’t have it—but don’t force your god’s peccadilloes down other people’s throats. They have enough to deal with, with their gods and his peccadilloes.
So, that’s why I didn’t write a post last week. I was grieving for two new friends I’d made who died before we could even have an argument, and then read those two letters. I was in no mood to write. Anything. Deal with it.
This Week’s Photo: Took this photo two years ago this week, at Sheryl’s home. Thomas loved this tree, and could no longer see it as it was in the back of the house, and we couldn’t get him there, so I took the picture so he could enjoy the vibrant reds second hand.
from the desk of the mighty chihuahua; it’s really cold out, and dark. the sun doesn’t come up until after 7 in the morning, and goes away before I can eat dinner and go for my afternoon walk. my human says another month and the days will start to get longer. I think the sun should be out half the time and the stars the other half. but I’m only a dog, and I don’t get no respect.
Weather in the Tries: Days in the coming week will ge as high as 95F, or higher. In fact, we have 2 days scheduled in the 70s, 1 in the high 80s, with the last four in the 90s. I believe the swimming pools will be crowded 😉 We have two pools. This complex used to be large, and then the owners divorced and one got Clearwater Bay, the other got Herron Lake (sic) but about the time we moved in, they went back to one complex, but maintained the two names and two addresses. And each complex has their own pool. Isn’t that just a fascinating bit of trivia? Not.
Holidays and… New Title: Happy Dance! Happy Dance! Yessiree Bobcat, last Monday was a holiday and I took it. For those of us who used to work for The Boeing Company, it was our first 3-day weekend of the year. The company and our union negotiated trading the week ends until Memorial Day for the days off between Christmas and New Year. Having those days off in the winter were marvelous. If the days fell ‘right’ we could take a couple days of vacation and get two weeks off. It was worth the price! It gave us workers a great break, and the company a chance to do annual maintenance without us underfoot!
Last Thursday (30 May) was the first Deathversary for Thomas. I went back to the Dark Side and spent some time with my Bonus Sister. On Friday, we took some of Thomas’s ashes down to Golden Gardens Park. Bonus Sister Sheryl found a nice tunnel of greenery we walked through to the beach. It was quite windy on the water, but my Bonus Sister found a large, flat piece of seaweed and put the ashes in it, rolled it, and tossed it into the water. Sadness accompanied us, for a short time, but once he was back in the water, his beloved Puget Sound, we wore far more smiles than tears.
On the way back home, she stopped by the Nordic Museum, where we took photos of Frankie Feetsplinters, the resident troll, then went inside to the snack bar and had a very good Ginger Beer (Reed’s Extra—look for it) and a cookie. Then back home for happy hour with the two across-the-street neighbors who were so good to Thomas and Sheryl and me. It was so pleasant, we sat on the patio! There are trolls all over the western part of the state. Or at least Puget Sound area. All made from reclaimed wood. All made by Thomas Dambo.
On Saturday, we were invited to a good friend’s houseboat on Lake Union, where we were feted with salmon grilled on a cedar plank. OMG! It was marvelous. cooked to perfection! We ate on the deck, watched the water traffic and had a marvelous visit. Thomas used to love going to the houseboat to visit and eat. We sat outside and after the other guests left, we watched the sunset, and dropped some more ashes into the lake, followed by a tequila toast to Thomas. Hope the fish appreciated that very good tequila! Sheryl found one of his poems, Water Remembers, one of the last ones he wrote, read it aloud, and then we left.
On Tuesday morning, I tried to post this blog, but as I discovered this morning, Word Press has gone in and changed things that weren’t broke and… Yes, Auntie Lenora got very frustrated, so she went to lunch with a good friend who used to live in the Tries, was forced to move to the Dark Side for personal reasons, and is looking at apartments to rent here, so she can move back. She thinks she found one, I hope so. It will be great to have another friend close by.
Got home from a great gab fest and then had some pooch time and a nap. Woke from the nap to an email that Finishing Line Press has accepted my chapbook, Saying Goodbye to Thomas. What a fantastical addition to the blog, eh? So, prepare yourself for updates. I do know one of the things they require are pre-sells, and when I find out more about it, I will be asking you all to buy a book. Or two or more. When I do ask, there are two things you should consider: 1. No, is an appropriate answer. (You won’t have to see me cry.) and 2. Remember, I am making no money off this book. All royalties will be divided in half, with half going to the ALS Association and the other half to End of Life Washington. Both of which brought a lot of help and succor to Thomas.
Pictures of the Week: Sheryl walking through the tunnel to the Sound
A sloop, as seen through the tunnel. Thomas had a sloop. The mountains in the back are the Olympics. They used to be white all year. Amazing what a hoax can do, isn’t it?
Frankie Feetsplinters, Troll
Crossing Lake Washington on one of the floating bridges with Mt. Rainier in the background
Sunset on Lake Union, Seattle
from the desk of the not lonesome anymore dog: my human came home. my human came home. she was gone like forever. i didn’t think she would ever come home, but she did. housemate dan said she would, but i wasn’t sure. it was so lonely, especially at night. it wasn’t warm, she wasn’t there. but she’s home now. see me do my happy dance.
“Life is a song – sing it. Life is a game – play it. Life is a challenge – meet it. Life is a dream – realize it. Life is a sacrifice – offer it. Life is love – enjoy.” ~ Sai Baba
Would you settle for Sunny and warm to hot? I will. Mostly in the 80s, some 70s. Aaaah, Paradise. The Brave Dog is delighted, and so is his human!
A Fantabulously Wunnerful Week!:
A day late, but Happy Mother’s Day whether you’re a Mom or an Auntie of a Really Good Friend. All women, at sometime and for some time, become Moms.
I am now a volunteer in training for End-of-Life Washington. As well as an 11th hour volunteer for Heartlinks Hospice. On Friday I “worked” at a Senior Health and Wellness Fair. The lady who set it up asked me to come. She thinks Death Doulas are great people and who am I to argue? Several people came by my table, asked questions, and left with a couple fliers and business cards I put out. Two of the women were retired hospice nurses, so we had slightly longer conversations.
And, of course, there were the people who came by, and decided they didn’t need or want anything to do with the subject. As if discussing Death would hasten his arrival. If they ignore it, it will go away? Alas, Death is not someone/something that will go away when ignored. The motto of End of Life Washington is: “Your Life. Your Death. Your Choice.” Wish I’d thought of it.
By the time I got home, it was ready for the poetry prompt group I belong to. We get two prompts, and time to start writing two poems. Sometimes only one gets written, and sometimes people read an older one. We also have an opportunity to read what we’ve written. It’s a great group, and one of my favorites. Then it was time to see if there was anything new going on in the world. There wasn’t.
I turned on YouTube and in scrolling through some of the music offerings, found an old black and white tape of Van Cliburn – Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto No. 1, B-flat minor. It was taken in Moscow when he won the award. Oh. Em. Gee!!! I was in 9th grade (maybe 10th) and I fell hopelessly in love with him. Van Cliburn, not Tchaikovsky. Anyhow, I think that record album was the first album I ever bought myself.
After my discharge from the WAC (Women’s Army Corps) in l969, before the birth of Favorite Daughter, he came to Portland and a friend and I sat in the nosebleed seats and were enthralled by his virtuosity. He started with the National Anthem. Having just come out of the WAC, it took maybe three notes and I was standing and feeling some embarrassed as no one else in the audience was. As I started to re-sit, remembering I was once again a civilian, and a few more notes were played, it dawned on them, and I had company standing. 😉
(An aside: I tell people one of the main reasons I enlisted was to see a live Bob Hope show. I did. AFTER I came home from the WAC, and before Favorite Daughter made her debut.)
Anyhow, I watched the video Friday night, and again Saturday morning. Never did I think I’d see him play the winning piece in Moscow. His fingers moved so fast they blurred. I read somewhere online (so it must be true, yes?) that from his wrist to his fingertips measured twelve inches. There was something about Van Cliburn that in watching him this weekend, he reminded me of Jerry Lee Lewis. The hair? I don’t know, but I looked it up and nearly fell off the chair when I saw Jerry Lee Lewis is related to Jimmy (Lee) Swaggart! Why, bless my little heart.
I think I was in fifth grade, possibly fourth, when Mom started taking me to the Portland Symphony. On school nights! We would meet downtown when she got off work, go to Kress five and dime, and eat a hotdog sandwich, then walk several blocks to the symphony hall. I have been so fortunate. I’ve seen Yehudi Menuhin play the violin and got his autograph, Victor Borge (I think I met him, but not sure), and a host of other marvelous musicians whose names I can’t remember at the moment.
I don’t know if Mom took me because she wanted me to hear “real” music or if it was cheaper to buy me a hotdog and a cheap seat in Symphony Hall than pay a babysitter. I don’t care. I treasure those times. And after rock n roll came out, I’m sure she was very happy I’d been exposed to the classical sound and dumfounded I loved rock n roll. I still love the classics and the HU and everything in between.
Photos of the Week:
Remember a few weeks ago when I posted a picture of Buzz Lightyear? Well, his buddy Woody, finally found him. Woody is not used to rocket speeds, let alone truck speeds, so he’s hanging on for dear life, but at least they are together again.
from the desk of the big chihuahua:
my human says we must have a few new geese here this summer. they seem pretty tame, but if they are in our way when we walk, they hiss at us. they may be taller than me, but i just ignore them and their cute, fluffy babies. but i growls and barks if another dog on a leash comes anywhere near my human. it is my job to protect her, and i take my jobs very much to heart. and every time she leaves me home, she leaves me with a stack of chores to do while she’s gone. it’s hard, sometimes, but she gives me a treat when she gets home and tells me i’m the best dog in the whole world and gives me loves to go with the treats.
“Music is for people. The word ‘virtuoso’ literally means ‘ethical hero.’ It doesn’t mean ‘show off.’ ~ Van Cliburn
“Explanation
“Van Cliburn’s quote, “Music is for people. The word ‘virtuoso’ literally means ‘ethical hero.’ It doesn’t mean ‘show off,'” beautifully captures the essence and purpose of music. Cliburn emphasizes that music is meant to be shared and enjoyed by everyone, rather than being a mere display of technical skill. He draws attention to the true meaning of the term ‘virtuoso,’ which is often misunderstood as someone who flaunts their abilities. Instead, Cliburn suggests that a virtuoso should be seen as an ethical hero, someone who not only possesses exceptional talent but also uses it to serve and inspire others. This quote serves as a gentle reminder that the true essence of music lies in its capacity to touch hearts, uplift souls, and create connections among people.”
Weather in the Tries: Highs this week will all be in the 60s, mostly higher 60s. The los will be in the 40s. We’ll have sunbreaks Monday and Wednesday, and winds on Tuesday. Can’t we have wind and sun at the same time? Who knows, and he’s not telling.
Bookcases &c: My old and well used bookcase finally said it was tired of holding 3,002 pounds of so of books on it, and the little pins you put in your choice of holes broke the wood enough to fall out. If I raised or lowered the shelves (2 of them misbehaved) my books wouldn’t fit. So, I put the white book case I’ve never been truly happy with on the patio, and will get someone to help me move it up to the dumpster tomorrow (Monday) with a ‘Free to a Good Home’ sign on it. Moved my old and well used bookcase into the living room area now devoted to sewing/quilting, and got a lot of fabric &c stored on it so it has neatened up that area somewhat. And then I went to my favorite ‘has everything I’ve always wanted and didn’t know it’ store and ordered a new bookcase.
My old bookcase that is now mostly a fabric case, was 6 shelves (including the top) 6’ x3’. I ordered this bookcase, which is 72.8” wide, 79.5” heigh, and 11.8” deep. It is surprisingly easy to put together, and take apart, and put back together. The iron standards are each 3 pieces, a bottom, a middle, a top. They have holes in them. Did I pay any attention to hole placement? Of course not, I just put the pieces in however the farkers would fit with H on the top, I in the center and J at the bottom. Guess what, the holes are different on one side from the other. This morning (that would be Sunday) is deconstructed three of the four, and reconstructed them, and am now putting the shelves in. They are using engineered wood rather than compressed sawdust & glue. Each shelf is 23” long, give or take a tenth or two. I will have to get Housemate Dan to help me with the higher shelf. One is supposed to put them on the floor, but I can’t get down and back up. I laid one of the shelves (paying attention to the holes) on my chair and got the screws in the top shelf, and managed to get the second standard attached to the other end of the shelf, then stood it up and am now putting the rest of the shelves in. Photo next week when it’s together and populated with its books. I think all my books or poetry will go on the center ‘library cart’ style shelves, nonfiction on the left side and fiction on the right side.
I have one section finished. I’ll have to have Housemate Dan help me with the second section. I’ll hold the top shelf, if he’ll screw it in, then I can put the rest of the shelves in on my own, then build the tilted ones, and connect the hip bone to the leg bone and the leg bone to the ankle bone, or whatever. Once the three sections are connected, I’ll know how far I need to move my desk so they will fit the space. I think it’s 5” but will know for sure soon.
I can’t get a copy of the picture but this may help if you’re really curious: IRONCK Bookcases and Bookshelves Triple Wide 6 Tiers Industrial Record Player Shelf, Large Etagere Bookshelf Open Record Player Shelves with Metal Frame for Living Room Home Office https://a.co/d/hUmZhFw The record shelves are what will hold my poetry books. I don’t have any vinyl anymore, not a place to put a player.
Well, I wanted to use the picture from the Amazon page, but couldn’t get it transferred, so if you want to see it, you’ll just have to click the link above. Or wait until next week when it’s done and populated with books;-)
My new website is up. We’re still dusting, and polishing, but it’s there. Check it out: https://foragooddeath.com. As stated, it’s still being tweaked, let me know if you have any ideas for improvement. Thanks
Sammy is surveying the work from his bed in the other room 😉
Video of the Week: Ever wonder how a stone is cut? YouTube is full of all sorts of stuff. This guy has a 1000carat piece of clear quarts and is faceting and polishing it. The computer truly is a thing of wonder—as long as you don’t watch news all day;-) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr-UNlOWS3Y When he finishes it, it’s gorgeous.
from the desk of the big chihuahua; we have sunshine and warmth even if the breeze is a little cold. my human complains, i think it’s because she’s bigger than i am and more wind hits her. im happy with it. more new smells as new people move in and out and bring and take more dogs n cats. i don’t care. the sun is shining and summer is coming.
Weather in the Tries: I do believe Spring is riding her pogo stick to get here. We have a few nights on the agenda to get below freezing, but not seriously. And our days will all be high 40s and 50s. With cold winds.
A Sneak Preview of my New Business Cards: But first a follow-up on the quilt sandwich. It is quilted and the edging is almost finished. And I have approval on the fabric for the 100-inch long by 10-inch width quilt which is next up. No, they don’t have a pet snake that likes to stretch out to sleep, they have a cat who likes to sit on the top of the wood headboard of their bed and look outside, and they don’t want the headboard scratched. Then up will be a set of 4 placemats and my Winter Gifts will be finished! And I can get back to the mountains for my friend. That’s going to be fun to work on. I’ve got a start. It will be easy, once all the pieces are sewn and the picture decided on.
Friend Micki saw my quilt, Stars Falling on New Mexico Mountains, and wanted one like it only different, she wants Mt. Shasta and her three sister mountains. I can hardly wait to get to it. I will try to remember to take pix during the process in case you ever want to try it 😉
Stars Falling on New Mexico Mountains, about 53″ x 19″
I don’t think I told you about going to a networking evening with people who work with Seniors (as in old farts and fartesses, not high schoolers). In talking with some of them, I realized I really do need to get busy, so I have ordered a set of business cards from Vista Print they should be here Wednesday. I found some on a foil background and can hardly wait to get the cards and my new alias email set up. I had it, then wanted to edit, and hit delete instead of edit and now I have to wait until Wednesday to set it up. Stupid computer, I’m allowed three alias emails, it counts the ones set up, not the ones deleted. Really looking forward to our March meeting.
Please don’t try the email in the card until at least Thursday.
I volunteered with End of Life Washington, and hope to begin training soon. Also, I volunteered with Heartlinks Hospiceto be an Eleventh-Hour volunteer, who will be called when a client is “actively” dying, to go and sit with him until life ceases. I will begin training with them soon. I think the phrase, “actively dying,” is beyond a little odd, but extremely accurate. The first time I heard the phrase was when the hospice nurse came to check onmy Favorite Uncle (also my only uncle) and she used that term. His body was shutting down, including his thermostat.
He reached his left hand across his body and picked something out of a nonexistent bowl and moved it to his left side and dropped it in another nonexistent bowl. Eventually he stopped doing that, and slept a bit. I sat with him for 30 some hours, and kept a diary of what he did. Turned it into my poem, Marking the Hours. Which is the title poem of my book, Marking the Hours. Sometimes he was lucid, mostly mumbling. I wish I knew then what I know now.
Found a fun piece of music on YouTube, Hunnu Guren – Batzorig Vaanchig & Auli. It’s throat singing from Mongolia and Bagpipe and Drum music from Latvia. Not the HU, but fun, and gorgeous scenery. Right now as I write this, I am listening to Hauser play his cello. From The HU to Hauser. Do I have eclectic taste in music or what?
from the desk of the big chihuahua: my human is going to go away today. i just know it. she’s talking about pizza and beer and bookgroup. if i could reach the lock on either door, i’d go outside on my own, but i have to wait for her and then walk in a harness. she won’t let me run free, says something about me being owl bait, and she says she doesn’t want an owl. she wants me. i’m not afraid of no stinkin’ owl. but, why take chances/ that’s supposed to be a question mark but i don’t know how to get it, after all, i’m just a dog.
Quote of the Week:
“It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.” ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations from Filling the Jars
me again, the short legged kid. this is what we get outside right now. don’t know this dickens guy, but he nailed it. oh, a funny happened to my human yesterday. a zombie leaf attacked her face. now she knows how it feels. but she wasn’t scared, just called it a star farker and kept on our walk. is star farker a nice word/ she says it a lot, so it must be.
Weather in the Tries: Well, the high’s will be between low 50s and 40s ranging from 41 to 53 in no particular order. The lows will be from 30 to 38 in no particular order. I do truly wish that butterfly in Beijing would face the other way when he waggles his wings. I’m ready for some warm. I think my wee beast is, too.
Death Café and Other Notes:
As you probably remember, I usually write this blog during the weekend and schedule it Sunday night for publication early Monday. I’ve mentioned the Discussion Cafes before, as I attend the Reflection Café twice during the month and beginning this morning, I’ll attend the Death Café. As my new friend and fellow Death Doula writes: “About this Death Café: This is not a grief therapy group. It is a friendly and interesting group of people discussing death, dying, and end of life concerns. Bring an open mind, an open heart, and your curiosity.” Now you know as much as I do, but I’ll learn more this morning (Sunday) and will share tomorrow morning.
Am back from the Death Café. Very interesting. A lot of people, of which I am old enough to be the grandparent of most of them. We sat at tables shoved together, and talked as a group, then because we were so many, eventually started talking in smaller groups. Someone brought a deck of Morbid Curiosity Cards. Some cards have trivia on them, some ask questions. One of the questions asked something like, if you were at a funeral and someone flirted with you, would you flirt back? I said, “Yes. After all, I’m not dead.” Then I thought a minute and amended it to, “Yes, as long as it wasn’t the funeral of my spouse or partner.” I’m not sure what caught the people more by surprise, that I said I would, or my age. The deck reminded me a lot of Cards Against Humanity. One of the few card games I enjoy playing. Alas, I’ve been all over the wonderful world web, and can’t find the deck of Morbid Curiosity cards.
I found it. I was searching for Morbid Curiosity, finally added ‘game’ and voila! If you’re interested, go here. And, like Cards Against Humanity, Morbid Curiosity has younger siblings to expand the game ~ Memento Mori and Postmortem. I can see where these cards could come in handy for people who aren’t sure what to ask, when to ask, how to ask. Great conversation starters.
Spring is definitely on its way. The days are warmer, the nights, while still cool, aren’t as cold. And I’m beginning to wake earlier. Which I think is funny, because my room has blackout curtains, and I don’t get light through them, but I am waking earlier than I was in Nov, Dec, and Jan. I’m sure it has something to do with hibernating. Yes?
If you missed my poetry reading on the 6th, this link will take you to it. I’m about 30 minutes in for about 15 minutes.
Photo of the Week: This is a true wee quilt. I think it measures about 8×9 inches. The background fabric is multicolored, and then I cut some scraps up and ‘sprinkled’ them to resemble a photo I took a couple years ago at my adopted Li’l Brothers’ home. The red was a red rhododendron seen between two trees. The sun shone on it, and it was bright red. The trees kept a lot of things in shadow, but the rhodie was gorgeous. The sprinkles were covered with black netting, and stitched about every eighth to quarter inch.
from the desk of the brave dog: it’s still cold out, no matter what my human says. but not as cold as it was. and the sun is once again shining in our sky. can you see me do my happy dance? now, if the rain will stay away, or only come at night. i think if the rain came while i’m snuggly with my human at night, and was gone when we get up, that would be fine. now that i have access to a computer, maybe i can figure out who to write with that suggestion. my human says we need rain, but not during the day, just at night.
Rainy Quotes:
“Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.” ~ unknown
“nobody in their right mind would be in the rain let alone dance in it.” ~ sammy brave dog
Weather in the Tries: Lots of wind today, which means the Zombie Leaves will be out to attack the Brave Dog. Will he show them he’s no longer afraid, that he is, after all, the Big Chihuahua??? We shall see. This week will mostly be in the 50s with lows in the high 30s/ low 40s. With perchance a shower or two now and then. Mostly then, according to my phone.
I’m Home Again, Home Again: Had a great visit with my Sister & Brother of Choice (SOC & BOC) Lee and Dave at their beautiful house in South Seattle. We went out to eat a couple of times, once to a Portuguese restaurant, Ciudad, that was to die for. We had grilled octopus, grilled chicken, and I should have written everything down, because it was to die for. Especially the octopus! The mural is delightful. If you’re in Seattle, or planning a trip, you might want to check Ciudad out!
On Sunday, we went to Jude’s, a neighborhood bar and restaurant, for eats n drinks. The guys who own it are master mixers of great cocktails. Lee & Dave had something truly liked, and I went for a Smokey Salve that could easily become habit forming. Rye, mesquite bourbon, crème de cacao, ginger, & bitters. Oh, yeah, so glad Jude’s is not in my neighborhood. Oh yes, I could develop a habit for that.
The specialize in Cajun cooking, and I had their Grits Plate. Made me homesick for the deep south. Their menu all looked good, it was difficult to choose. Everything I looked at looked better than the one before. The blackened catfish was to die for. So, yes, you must go to Jude’s, too.
Watched the first episode of Foundation. If you read the 4-book trilogy by The Good Doctor (Asimov), the series is based on the books. I read them so many years ago, I can’t remember that much about them to know how close/far the tv show is from the books, but I was hooked, for sure. Now Housemate Dan and I can watch.
We got caught up on gossip, and I left on Monday. I arrived on Thursday pm, left Monday am, so the 3-day rule of company wasn’t too badly stretched. And, on Friday, they drove me to, and fetched me later, my last class of:
Doula Training: The last class, was a two-parter. We learned how to wash a corpse and shroud a corpse. Sinch we were doing this in a home, we used real live corpses, and the class was divided into two groups. One washed, one shrouded, then we ate and reversed so we all got to see everything. Yes, we did have real live corpses. They were delightful young men, who volunteered, and played dead. Until we got them to laugh. Indeed, their resurrection was a miracle.
In between the first class and the second, when we all traded, we had a feast of a supper. The two corpses joined us to eat. It was fun meeting them, and those of the class who could come. A lot of our cohort is located on the east coast, or otherwise just too far away to come.
I am signed up for the A Sacred Passing class on Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD). Then I will take the class from End of Life Washington (Death With Dignity) if it’s different. I will need to shadow another doula a few times, which may be a tad fun this winter, as I will be the only one in the Tri-Cities. I’m hoping there is someone no farther than Spokane. That’s a trip I can make in the winter. But getting across the Snoqualmie Pass may be dicey. I had to drive from Seattle to Portland to Kennewick one time. It was not a particularly fun drive at double the distance, double the time.
I need to get all my forms filled out, both to know how, and to have them available for when (if?) needed for my death. If you live in Washington State, I strongly urge you to check out End of Live Washington, and go to their Wonderfile, read and download the forms and instructions you need. If you live in another state, I suggest you find the equivalent in your state. There are even forms you can fill out now, leaving instructions for what happens if you develop dementia, if you are in a same sex relationship your bio family doesn’t like, but you do. Some need to be notarized, many do not. Then, every year, on your birthday, go over them, and make any necessary changes. As End of Life Washington says, “Plan now, die later, do a lot of living in between!
From the Paws of the Brave Dog: My human came home yesterday and the first thing she did, well, almost the first thing, was to come to the bed and snuggle me for a really long time. It’s so hard to snuggle her when she isn’t here. Housemate Dan is good, but he doesn’t snuggle like she does. She didn’t even read her books or anything. She just snuggled. Oh, happy day, happy day. My human came come. My human is home and I happy danced all the way to the bed. Did you see me happy dance?
Duck, Death and the Tulip: This is a delightful book about a duck who meets Death, and the friendship that develops. It’s a children’s book, that I bought after seeing the video in one of our classes. The words and drawings are from the pen of Wolf Erlbruch, a German writer and illustrator. It is a marvelous story about a duck who sees Death following him and they become friends, until Duck dies. There is no religious theme to the story. Or the death of Duck. The only think I would have liked to see is one more comma in the title, so it reads Duck, Death, and the Tulip. But the Oxford comma is not in high favor at the moment.
Weather in the Tries: We’re in for a warming trend, and possible rain. Most of this week will be high 40s and up to high 50s. And the lows will be mostly in the low 40s. As I write this (Sunday Morning) It’s 25 degrees outside. And the dog wants me to feed him and take him for a walk. Yeah. Right.
Listen Up, Buttercup! The tease says Rena just got her first job. She’s 18 months old and gets paid in free diapers and ice cream. Whoa there, Trigger. Is that ageism? I don’t need diapers (yet) but plenty of old farts and fartesses do, and a lot of us would work for free ones, and ice cream. Especially the ice cream. I’d take the diapers now and hold them for when/if I do need them.
Okay, then I read the article. Yeah, it is ageism, but I guess I won’t complain. The little tykes (about 70 of them) work one day a week spreading cheer at Japanese nursing homes, accompanied with a parent, bringing smiles and joy to the residents.
One of the nursing homes Daddy was in before he came to Portland was an re-purposed one-floor elementary school, and the large wing was for the nursing home residents, but the other wing was a day care, and the residents were encouraged to go to the cafeteria to get their own coffee and meals and interact with the kids. The kids picked a Grandpa/Grandma for the week. The nursing home residents really perked up around the youngsters. And tended to go home sooner than residents of traditional nursing homes. And those who couldn’t go to the kids, had kids coming to them. Daddy almost didn’t want to leave. He had been alone too much, I think, and he just loved those kids. Somehow, I don’t think I’d bring the same joy to the elders as the tykes do.
I also don’t have the least inclination to start/manage/work in/stay in a new nursing home-child care facility, but it sure sounds like a good idea to me. Japan has such a problem with loneliness “that in 2021 the government appointed its first ‘minister of loneliness,’ charged with helping people of all ages connect, especially after the Covid-19 pandemic.” Read the article here, and look at the cute kids and happy people. (The quote is from the article by Janis Mackey Frayer and Arata Yamamoto and Mithil Aggarwal.)
Two photos from a couple years ago, when I lived on the river. Doesn’t it look cold? you can see the fog rising in the smaller photo, if you look closely.
Death Care:
Moving into the final week. I’ve lost a week. I thought this was Week 7, but it’s Week 8. It’s been a fascinating time, and I’m really looking forward to meeting several of my cohort face to face this coming Friday. There is an in-person class on washing and shrouding the deceased. I doubt I’ll ever do it, but it will be nice to know how, just in case.
Now I get to write a piece about why I decided to become a Death Doula/Midwife. About 5 minutes worth of reading. So, guess what I’m gonna be doing today (Sunday) in between two Zoom Room sessions. 😉
From the Paws of the Brave Dog:
I really didn’t want to walk this morning. It’s too cold, so when Housemate Dan insisted, we went forth. And I delivered the desired response in a hurry, and then we came back. My other human is very pleased that not only did I produce, but I’ve also started tromping and peeing on the Zombie Leaves. That’ll teach ‘em to mess with the Big Chihuahua! Now, I’m going back to bed. It’s nap time!
Chansons Innocents II by e.e. cummings. Read it here, and have a Happy Halloween by whatever name you call it.
According to my phone, the next week the highs will be in the 50s dropping into the 40s. Today, Monday will be 71. The lows wll be in the 40s and 30s with one day, next Monday, at 29. Yep, Fall has done fell! Ka-Booom!! Of course, the weather is always subject to change at a moment’s notice.
Some things of possible interest…
I think I’ve mentioned before that I subscribe to Jerry Coyne’s blogs. He publishes several a day, I tend to read the Hili Dialog when it comes first thing in the morning, and the Caturday Trifecta every CSaturday. Jerry is a cat lover, and a duck lover, and a scientist, and is extremely prolific. This past Caturday part of the Trifecta was a story from Spoon & Tamago, a blog about Japan, and the story Tan Yamanouchi’s New House Speaks to His Cats’ Desires.
I went to the website and was delighted with the story of Tan Yamanouchi, an architect who designed and built his family home to accommodate their two cats. The photos of the home are great. I had so much fun I started reading other stories, and subscribed to the blog.
Another story that fascinated me is: You’ll Soon Be Able to Stay in One of Japan’s Most Beautifully Designed Prisons . The architecture of the prison is every bit as interesting as the article. However, I found this paragraph particularly interesting: Japan incarcerates its citizens at a far lower rate than most developed countries: 37 per 100,000 people compared with 132 in Britain and 629 in America. And the inmate population in Japan has seen a steady decline over the past decade, which helps explain why Nara Prison was shut down in 2017.
I have not done any research on the topic of why we have so many in prison, but my opinion is it is tied to privatizing the prisons and using prisoners/slaves to do the work of the companies who own and operate them. Ah, Capitalism. Ain’t it grand?
Another newsletter I subscribe to is MEDPAGE TODAY. I started reading it during Covid, and though it’s meant for those in the medical field, I can still understand most of the articles, and find several of them fascinating, and always well written. The other day, I found one that I’ve read about now and again over the years, but this one gives us all the good parts.
The ‘PinkTax’ Wake-Up Call for the Healthcare Industry—All genders should have equal access to care. The good news is that (white) women are now earning about $0.82 for every dollar a (white) man makes. That up 4 or 5 cents since I was working for a living. The bad news is Black and Latinx women earn a whole lot less. And yes, medicines and treatments cost women of any color more than men for the same thing. I remember when Washington State removed the sales tax from prescription drugs with the called-out exception of birth control pills. We still had to pay tax to keep from getting pregnant!
It’s a very interesting article. I hope you’ll grab a cuppa and sit for maybe 5 minutes and read it. Frequently the responses are interesting. They are limited to those working in the medical field.
Death Care:
We have finished 5 weeks of our 8. A lot of grief work, and much of that is cross-cultural/race work. Truly fascinating, but I don’t plan on doing a lot of grief care. We have a wonderful system for grief support here in the Tries through Chaplaincy Hospice and their Grief Support Groups. I may be wrong, but I think most of my grief care will come immediately after the death, with some anticipatory grief ahead of it.
One of the videos I watched was Megan Devine on Grief. It’s a 48:12 minute long, and fascinating. She is an excellent speaker. Do a search for her, and look for that video. Or watch a bunch of the shorter ones.
At this point I have no idea how busy I’ll be, if at all. When the class is over, and I know more, I will talk to the kind person who does my Taxes, and a lawyer. Because I plan on doing my work without charge, or minimal if I spend money for my client, do I need to have things like liability insurance? What do I need, what do I not need, do I need to become a business? So many questions, that I’m not quite intelligent enough yet to know what they are and who to ask. 😉
I’ve known for some time that I live in a white bread snowflake town, but didn’t know HOW show white my town is, until I did a little research just to find out. I will try to put the table I made in here. Not sure if I can get it to translate, but
Race Kenwck Richland Benton Cnty Pasco FrankCnty
European
60.7%
87.0%
65.0%
38.2%
60.7%
Hispanic
30.9%
7.8%
25.0%
55.1%
53.0%
African
1.8%
1.4%%
2.0%
2.4%
1.9%
Asian
2.4%
4.7%
3.0%
2.1%
2.0%
Native Amer
0.7%
0.8%
0%
—-
0.8%
Other
3.7%
2.62%
1.0%
0.5%
Hawaiian
—-
0.1%
2.0%
0.5%
0.8%
Multi
—-
7.18%
—-
—-
29.8%
Mixed
—-
3.2%
4.0%
1.7%
3.9%
Euro alone,Not Hispanic or Latinx
—-
83.0
83.0%
—-
47.0%
Pasco is one of the Tri-Cities, however it is in Franklin County
*Pasco is in Franklin County, Kennewick & Richland, and several other small towns are in Benton County/ Kennewick, Richland, and Pasco are 3 cities separated by 3 rivers. (that’s not quite true but darned close. We do have 3 cities and 3 rivers—Yakima, Snake, Columbia.)
Humor:
So, I decided to let my hair grow, but it was thick and needed a trimming and cut to go with the curls and waves. I called a stylist and asked if anyone in the salon enjoyed cutting naturally curly or wavy hair. She said she loved to cut it, so I made an appointment and went in. The first thing, of course, was the shampoo. How I love to have someone wash my hair and give me a head massage at the same time.
Then it was back to the chair where she dried my hair and turned me so I couldn’t see the mirror. Hmmmmmmm… Then she started messing around with something hot and pulling my hair through it. Odd, that. But she clipped and she cut, and gave me more than a trim, and then started messing around with that hot thing again. The end result is here:
I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. I settled for laughter. She was worried I might not like it, but if I’ve learned nothing else in the last 8 decades of my life, is it’s only hair, and it will grow out, and a shampoo in my own shower helps a lot. Of course, wearing headphones didn’t help, they took away my cute winglets. So, the next morning I got up, took a shower, and played with it myself. I don’t have all the curls in back that I had, but I think some more of the extra hold gel will help with that. And a spritz or two of pink and or purple and voila, the next day:
From the Paws of the Big Chihuahua:
It’s Fall. It’s turning cold. I’m busy. I’m napping. Naps are good. Either nap with me or go away.
Trust me when I say that Fall has Fell. Leaves are yellow and all over the ground, but so far, none have resurrected to zombie statehood. Days are much cooler, nights even more so. Love it! Days will be in the high 60s to mid 70s. Nights mostly in the high 40s to mid 50s. Not coat weather yet, but a sweater or light jacket isn’t amiss, especially with the sun goes down.
Happiness is:
I found a photo the other day I don’t remember taking, but it is now one of my wallpapers. It was taken about a year ago when I was with Thomas. Sheryl and I were obviously talking, and one of us said something and she looks like she just said a word she never, ever says, and Thomas looks at her as if to say, You said That??? What a funny disgusted shocked expression on his face. I look it it during the day and can’t help but chuckle. It certainly helps the grief go away. He must have been getting ready for a shave with the towel around him. Sent it to Sheryl, and she can’t remember what we were talking about, either. Anyhow, enjoy.
Not Happiness is:
Sammy Brave Dog was sick for about three days, and I couldn’t get him in to see his regular doctor, and the office suggested if he was really sick, to take him to an urgent care. Huh? Urgent care for animals? Well, I looked them up, and they exist, and are just down the road maybe a mile. He’d been dancing the green apple two step for 3 days, maybe a tad more, so they called his regular doctor and got his chart sent over, and we decided it was a good time to update a few things. They have him a fluid injection, drew blood and tested him for the regular stuff as well as some things like pancreatitis (he free of that), and sent us home with a fecal collection kit. Well, I guess he didn’t like all the poking and prodding, and indignities heaped upon him, because he didn’t do anything until this morning. It was normal. I took the sample in, and he has nothing wrong with him. So, I’m to continue giving him some stuff and not worry about the antibiotics.
The worst thing is, Housemate Dan can no longer give him Costco Chicken with Sammy’s dinner. Both he and Sammy love that, but the Doctor said NO more people food, except for sweet spud or pumpkin. But he can give him sweet spud with his dinner, and Sammy really loves sweet spud.
Deathcare:
I am quite confused in my poor little mind as to what we learned through A Sacred Passing on Mon & Wed night, v. what we learned during the first four of five Buddhist classes on Death, Love, Wisdom Summit classes. Worth getting up at 0530 to be at the computer by 0600. I’ve got pages of notes I want to transcribe and put in my notebook. Tomorrow (Monday, so I guess it’s today) is the final class, which I think will be heavy on meditation, but that’s okay. So far the classes have been on Making Peace With Death, End of Life Care, Right here With You: Care at the Time of Death, and Grief and Bereavement Support. All good stuff.
Our pond with a few of the none zombie leaves.
From the Paws of the Big Chihuahua:
My tummy wasn’t feeling very good and my human took me to a new doctor. She poked me, but was pretty nice, and ran some tests which was funny because she didn’t run at all. She walked. Anyhow, I no longer get chicken. Housemate Dan and I are both sad about that, BUT I get all the sweet potato or pumpkin I want. Well, the doctor said something about 4 cubic inches a day, but that sounds like a lot to me. And my tummy feels much, much better now.
