Author Archives: Lenora Good

(Love Means) You Never Have To Say You’re Sorry

Do you remember that song? The movie (Love Story) from whence it came? Personally, I found the song a real turn-off and never watched the movie, or read the book, because of that one phrase. To me, Love for another person means being able to say you’re sorry. If you can’t apologize to someone else, someone you love, it means you’re in love— with yourself, not the other person.

Well. I’m apologizing. Or perhaps I’m explaining. Or a bit of both? (Is there a rationale in here?)

There was a tv series that ran from 2005 – 2012 and I don’t think I missed an episode. I truly enjoyed the cast, the stories (well most of them), and the humor. When I moved back to the Tri Cities, I opted to get an antenna v. cable, and lo & behold The Closer was running on one of the antenna channels. Every day. Two back to back episodes seven days a week. Yeee Haw!

I’m pleased to say, it has held up well. Too well. Watching one episode a week was considerably different than watching two episodes a night, seven nights a week. Perhaps I’ve been sensitized by Black Lives Matter, which I support, but suddenly, what used to be humorous—the small, southern Brenda Leigh Johnson dealing with big bad guys (of any color)—became all too real. Where it had been humorous watching her set the white boy up to get his come-uppance in a Mexican jail for raping and killing a Mexican girl in LA; where it was pure Karma seeing her send the Mexican drug cartel cop to jail under a false name and knowing there was a ‘hit’ out for that name that he paid for; where it was a gotcha moment when she supported the gang-banger in getting his by his brother gang members; well, all of that was violence at the hands of the police. All of it was taking the law—arrest, trial, sentence—into her own hands.

It wasn’t funny anymore. She became all the Derek Chauvins, by all the names they go by, she was every cop who ever killed an unarmed man, woman, or child whether deliberately or by mistake, or just because he thought he could get away with it. She was the cop who deprived people of their constitutional rights in the name of justice.

So, I apologize for touting the show for so long as funny. My eyes did not see, my ears did not hear. I no longer think it’s funny. Yes, old fartesses can learn new things. And I thank Black Lives Matter for helping to open my eyes.

I still dislike that song; however, if you’ve never heard it, or can’t remember it, or want to hear it one more time for your weekly Zoom karaoke class, here it is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APMHp9sZyME

And here is the Richland, Washington All Gull Choir singing—Big Gulls Don’t Cry. Unfortunately, I was too far away, and my recording wasn’t all that good, so here’s Fergie singing her own rendition. It’s ok, but not as good as the All Gull Choir.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agrXgrAgQ0U

Have a great week. Remember to laugh often and loud, sing a new song—try out for a Zoom choir, dance like you’re Fred Astaire or Ginger Rogers in a closed rehearsal, and be sure to stop by again—same gull time, same gull channel. The coffee’s hot, the biscotti are homemade, and we always have time for a short break. Stay safe, stay healthy, and care for and love one another—because one another is all we’ve really got.

Did the Dutch Masters Use Code for Porn?

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Years ago, when I was engaged to a gentleman with an art degree from the Chicago School of Art, I learned a lot of interesting things from him, but the one I remember was when we were looking at prints of the old Dutch Masters, and Tim said, “If there’s a dog in the painting, it’s pornography.”

What???

I’ve never been able to find anything on that topic, but I haven’t really searched all that hard, either. It’s too good a story to have it possibly ruined by actual facts. According to what Tim told me, if there was a dog in the painting, it was a lewd painting. The piano instructor really wasn’t instructing the girl how to play the piano, they were in a brothel and he was sizing her up. Such an innocent painting—a girl at the piano, her tutor beside her. But the dog throws it into a different light. Is he staring at her with a lecherous lilt in his eye? Hmmmmm….

Cats didn’t seem to show up as often in paintings as dogs. My theory is, cats could not be controlled by the men/painters, therefore were unworthy to be immortalized. Also, possibly due to the lack of trainability/controllability, cats at some time or other became associated with evil.

Rembrandt did, however, engrave the Holy Family with a Cat in 1654. I was going to swipe the drawing from the web but got to reading about the 5 small thumbnails drawings that accompany it, and decided to include the link, as it’s pretty interesting, and won’t take long for you to read. With the added benefit that I won’t go to jail for copyright infringement.

https://www.everypainterpaintshimself.com/article/rembrandts_holy_family_with_a_cat_1654

I have a pencil once owned by Shakespeare…

Thanks to the cat it’s so chewed up I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B

Is art what it seems? What/Who makes art qualify as ART?

Several years ago, one of our presidents made a remark about not knowing much about art (true), but he knew the difference between Michelangelo and Mapplethorpe (not really). Actually, there was probably more commonality between the two artists than our then president realized. The primary difference being Mapplethorpe had the advantage of a camera. I’ve often wondered how Michelangelo would take to our modern art media should he come back for a visit. Maybe there is something to reincarnation? Maybe he did come back? Maybe Mapplethorpe was Michelangelo reincarnated?

Here is a link to Michelangelo’s David, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw4w2A64hOA the video is under 2 minutes, if you don’t watch the ad.

And here is a link to Widewalls, and the copyrighted photograph by Robert Mapplethorpe of Dennis with Flowers, 1983. Same basic subject (nude males), different medium.

https://www.widewalls.ch/magazine/10-nudes-by-robert-mapplethorpe/dennis-with-flowers-1983

Have a great week. Remember to laugh often and loud, sing a new song, dance like you’re four years old and wearing a Wonder Woman costume or Batman cape, and be sure to stop by again—same bat time, same bat channel. The coffee’s hot, the biscotti are homemade, and we always have time for a short break. Stay safe, stay healthy, and care for and love one another—because one another is all we’ve really got.

An epidemiologist, an ICU doctor, and a scientist all walk into a bar.

Just kidding, they know better.

Shaggy Dogs and Other Less Obvious Consequences of Covid19 Lockdown

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Indeed, this virus lockdown has had some strange consequences. While I am all for wearing masks, and social distancing (well, unless that cute guy in apartment…oh, never mind), I can understand the closing of many businesses; however, there are two that leave me a tad flummoxed.

Hair stylists/barbers. As a whole, the only other people who are as aware of, and practice assiduously cleanliness and sterile procedures, are medical personnel. At least in my state (Washington), salons have extremely high standards of both and are regularly inspected by the authorities. Screw up and lose your license. And if the stylist wears a mask and doesn’t work if s/he has symptoms, and if clients don’t come in if they have symptoms, it should be fairly safe.
Pet Groomers. Number one, social distancing can be practiced in the salon between groomers, and when pets are brought in and picked up, social distancing can also be practiced between pet parents and groomers. It is very difficult for many people to shampoo their pets, let alone trim nails, etc. People with ‘fur children’ worry about them, especially when nails grow out and become too long. And long nails are painful for the pets.

Yes, I have a shaggy dog. With bear claws for toenails. He has a special rapport with his groomer he does not have with me. He trusts her to bathe him. He doesn’t trust me for that. He doesn’t like to be put in the sink. He doesn’t like to be wet. He hates the rain whether it comes from Grandfather Sky or the sprinklers where we live. Water, in his opinion, belongs in his bowl and no where else. Especially not on him!

This is not a shaggy dog. It’s a pelican and a common merganser duck going through a Bad Feather Day. The wind is blowing, and their feathers are ruffled. The temperature, even without wind chill, was below freezing that day.

And if all that isn’t enough to make an old fartess cry, there was a spate of dead crows on I-90 the other day. This old fartess likes crows. A lot. The folks at the Washington State Department of Transportation (WSDOT) became concerned as there were over 450 dead crows in a short space of freeway outside of Ellensburg. Were they poisoned? Had they contracted Covid 19? They collected 450 crow carcasses and took them to the Washington State University Veterinary School for testing. It was determined that 98% of the crows had died by colliding with trucks. Did they not have their usual look-out crow? Some students and a professor went to the area where the crows were collected and after watching more collisions realized that the crows had, indeed posted their look-out crows to call out impending danger. Unfortunately, when the trucks came barreling down the freeway, the lookout crows called out, “Cah, cah.” Not one called out “Truck, truck.”

Hey, if I gotta live with a shaggy dog, so, dammit, do you! Actually, I’m in dire need of a few good shaggy dog stories, please, please, if you have any to spare, send them to me, send them to me, send them to me now. Use the Contact form.

Have a great week. Remember to laugh often and loud, sing a little, dance like you’re four years old and wearing a Batman cape, and be sure to stop by again—same bat time, same bat channel. The coffee’s hot, the biscotti are homemade, and we always have time for a short break. Stay safe, stay healthy, and care for and love one another—because one another is all we’ve really got.

Auntie Lenora

postscripts:

Apologies to Judy Carne for mutilating her line.

Feel free to let me know in the comment section if this was a one-groaner up to a five-groaner shaggy dog story.

Real Men Wear Masks

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For those who would rather listen than read–

Recorded in the key of snark

I read an article the other day that had me in snickers for a while, and then I got angry, and then I thought to myself, Self, this is worth writing a post about. So here ya go.

Monica Hesse wrote a Perspective piece for the Washington Post which may be paywalled, so I found it via another source and will share that link here.

At first I was dumbfounded, gobsmacked if you prefer, that men actually think wearing a mask makes them less masculine. That was the giggle part. Apparently, it doesn’t take more than a small piece of fabric tied over their faces to emasculate them. Then I got to thinking about life as I’ve lived it, and life as I know it and I got angry.

Now, I’m speaking in generalities, so please don’t get your knickers in a knot, unless the shoe fits, in which case wear the damn shoe and untie your knickers! But for too many years male privilege has been to blame the woman/victim—for anything they don’t want to accept responsibility for. She was raped? Why did she dress that way? Show her hair? Her ankle? Lock her up, save male virtue from itself because the men can’t control it, so they must control her.

Wear a mask? Hey! Real men aren’t afraid of no stinkin’ little virus. YOU wear the damn mask. Remember, the Lone Ranger wore a mask. True, it covered his eyes, not his mouth, but it was a mask. Cowboys wore and wear masks, ie, bandanas, over the lower part of their face. Useful for keeping out dust (and possibly Covid 19) and when they weren’t paid, for robbing the local bank or cattle baron.

But, but, do they not understand that the mask does not protect the wearer, it protects the other person? Men don’t wear masks because their wife/mother/children/significant others/parents do, so why should they worry?

I’ll agree, masks aren’t sexy, they chafe, they’re hot, they aren’t really comfortable, but they are a lot less uncomfortable than Covid 19. And public safety should be worth something more than a fragile ego.

And if a mask, a mall piece of fabric, makes a male feel somehow emasculated, I remind him (and you) of the late Eleanor Roosevelt who said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Substitute the word ‘inferior’ with whatever you need. Making men feel manly in a mask is the man’s problem, and the man’s responsibility to overcome, it is a public-health issue. Period. Punkt! Full stop. Roll credits. Man up!

Many men really do have a problem accepting responsibility for their own actions. That’s why they try to turn women into mommies, so mommy can take the responsibility, kiss it, and make it all better. If your man doesn’t wear a mask, find a new man. One who will wear a mask and show you and the world that he cares for you and your children, that he cares for his neighbors, that he cares. Period.

Now, I admit, I’m not a fan of Dick Cheney, never have been, but I’m open to changing that fanship, at least in this case. #RealMenWearMasks. Yeeeee-haw! Ride ‘em cowboy! Way to go Mr. Vice President!

Dick Cheney, swiped from Liz Cheney’s tweet

And to all of ‘my’ men who care enough about me, their spouses, the public, and who know what a Real Man is and wear those freaking masks, THANK YOU!!! Any man who doesn’t feel the need to bully others into agreeing with him; any man who when he makes a mistake is willing to admit it, say he’s sorry, and do what he can to rectify the situation; any man who isn’t intimidated by a wee bit of fabric over his nose and mouth; any man who can make me laugh—even Dick Cheney—is a real man and one of ‘my’ men!

Auntie Lenora

Dancing While on Lockdown

Surveys and the People Who Send Them

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I know, I promised to try not to talk politics, but this was just too funny not to talk about. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima grande.

I received one of the best chuckles ever the other morning when I opened up my email and discovered I had joined “Team Opposition.”

The day before, as I read an article online, an ad appeared wanting to know if I approved/disapproved/or was unsure of a certain politician. I clicked Disapproved. Of course, in order for my vote to count, and they assured me it was veryimportant, and they would welcome my input, yadda yadda yadda, I had to add my email. (I know how to block emails so wasn’t too concerned) and submitted. To be honest, I was surprised they didn’t ask me for money, but then I figured since I disapproved, the algorithms of their site would realize I wouldn’t donate.

The next morning, I received a great email welcoming me to “Team Opposition.” That said Politician is counting on me, and to please add my cell number to the list so I can get said Politician’s PERSONALLY sent updates, etc. Oddly, the home team still didn’t ask for money. And I didn’t volunteer my number.

I hate that they are counting me as part of their team, because I’m not, but then, it may skew their numbers a wee bit if enough of us ‘join’ the team. But they’re good for a laugh. Okay, a chuckle, now and then.

I also really hate all those online and emailed surveys where they try to assure me how important my opinion is, but all they really want is my money. They obviously don’t read their surveys, they merely glean emails, and figure if you responded, you’re on their team. Not!

Sometimes, I think Britain has the right idea. No campaigning until six weeks before the election! Actually, it isn’t sometimes I think this, it’s most every day, every hour I think of politics, I think of this. Think how much real work would get done if we weren’t so immersed in party politics day in and day out.

A duck swimming in a body of water

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A Pelican Pollster dabbling for important input and greenbacks. Lotsa Greenbacks.

Addendum: A couple days later, I received another one question poll, I answered and was immediately sent to the website. The poor, pitiful, politician looks like he’s going to bawl, and now he really wants my money (I knew he did!), but I’m not donating. Well, not to him, anyway. As I started to close the link, a note popped up telling me I wasn’t through yet, I hadn’t donated any money. Computers are getting too darned smart.

A swan swimming in a body of water

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This is not a Politician. She’s a Pelican. And she’s cold (picture was taken in January 2020). She doesn’t really know about, or care about, Politicians of any ilk. She’s far more interested in finding lunch. She should be interested in politics, as Politicians control whether or not she will have lunch available to find in years to come. And I have no idea of the maleness or femaleness of said bird. I figure it’s only important that the bird knows!

In the meantime…

Are you a poet? Do you like poetry? Do you miss Open Mics? If you answered at least 2 out of 3 of those questions with a Yes, check out Rattle.com. They are now hosting a dedicated weekly open mic show in addition to their usual livestreamed Rattlecast episodes. This week’s open mic will broadcast live on Sunday at Noon ET /9am PT at https://youtu.be/Zu4b9Hm1r1Y

If you’re interested in sharing a poem that relates directly to current events, published or not, you can join in by Skype (rattlepoetry) or the regular phone. Just contact Tim (Tim Green, Editor, Rattle) either of those ways during the show, and he’ll call back as many people as he can. Details are in the notes on the YouTube page, and he gives out the phone number during the broadcast, but it’s 818-850-7727—and while you’re there, please do click that “subscribe” button. I haven’t joined in yet, but I did take a couple minutes to lurk this past Sunday and plan on participating next week.

It’s worth marking and remembering, and also worth remembering my favorite quote about poets from the late Robert A. Heinlein, “A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.” Oh, yeah….;-)

Hmmm, maybe the pelican pollster is really a pelican poet looking for an open mic??? Do fish write poetry and have open mics??

Have a great week. Remember to laugh, sing a little, dance like no one is watching and be sure to stop by again—same bat time, same bat channel. The coffee will be made, the biscotti are homemade, and we always have time for a short break. Stay safe, stay healthy, and care for and love one another—because one another is all we’ve really got.

Auntie Lenora

What the World Needs Now…

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Oh, this is soooo exciting. Well, to me, at least. I decided to upgrade my free blogsite, and buy a real site, so you have yet one more URL to deal with, but this is it. Honest. Trust me. With many thanks to my friend Barbara, who built the site for me. https://coffeebreakescapes.com is now up and running. She wasn’t able to move the subscriptions from the last blog over to this new URL, so I’d really appreciate you subscribing one more time and following me around on the web. With all the social distancing of the moment, it’s the closest I can get to an in-person hug. And I like hugs. You’ll find this site is new, improved, different, and built by someone who knows what she’s doing—my friend, Barbara. Alas, it’s still the same old me.

Like my previous blogs, I’ll be discussing a bit of this and a tad of that, and sharing some of my photos, and perchance some of my writings. Now and then something from the news. I’ll keep you up to date on the Podcasts, which I know you’re interested in. I’m hoping to have a Grand Launch Party by the end of the month. You’re all invited.

Speaking of photos—the blue background visible on a full-screen computer if not your phone, is of the Columbia River taken on one of my walks. The header—flying bird—is a pelican, gliding over the Yakima river where it joins the Columbia. Living on the Columbia I have opportunities to take pictures both from my walks along the river, and from my patio. My apartment looks out on Bateman Island Wildlife Refuge, and earlier this spring, I saw a gossip session out on the flooded sand bar. Photo taken from my patio using a telephoto lens.

Gossip Session
*Canada goose, Great Blue Heron, four American White Pelicans*
*The hump on the pelican indicates it’s breeding season. Both male and female develop them then shed them by the end of the breeding season.*

A couple of people have asked why I’m using ‘Auntie’ Lenora in my blog and podcasts. Auntie is a term used to refer to elders by Indigenous cultures (world-wide, actually) whether related or not, and I am after all, part Catawba and African. Though I am an Auntie to several adorable nieces and nephews, now I can be Auntie to you, too, if you’re in the market for a new auntie. Of course, if you don’t want a new auntie, we can be friends. Yes, I’m admitting to being an elder by using the term, but it doesn’t make me feel as old as I probably am and should embrace.

I have spent the last week enjoying an ear worm. (Is that the right phrase? I know it isn’t a Ceti Eel!) At any rate, because of the situation in the outside world, I’ve had a song going through my head, and I don’t mind. Really. In fact, I’m going to share it. It’s from the ‘60s, by Burt Bacharach and there are several recordings of it on YouTube, and I like them all. Here is Jackie DeShannon singing What the World Needs Now Is Love. If you don’t remember it, give a listen. If you’ve never heard it, give a listen. Check out the lyrics and see if you don’t agree with me.

Have a great week. Remember to laugh, sing a little, dance like no one is watching and be sure to stop by again. Same bat time, same bat channel. The coffee will be made, the biscotti are homemade, and we always have time for a short break. Remember to stay safe, stay healthy, and to care for and love one another—because one another is all we’ve really got.

Coffee Break Escapes with Auntie Lenora

Short readings for short times

Author Archives: Lenora Good

(Love Means) You Never Have To Say You’re Sorry

Did the Dutch Masters Use Code for Porn?

Shaggy Dogs and Other Less Obvious Consequences of Covid19 Lockdown

Real Men Wear Masks

Dancing While on Lockdown

Surveys and the People Who Send Them

What the World Needs Now…

Hello!